Category Archives: Close to the Chest

More Personal posts

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The Fight for Malaysia’s Soul, not for BN, Not for PR.

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Good Evening guys,

I know it’s not a Friday but this one isn’t a Note on Life, it’s something much much Closer to Home.

This is Roshan ‘Arkay’ Kanesan’s Thoughts on Change, Democracy & the 13th Malaysian General Elections.

Before I start, here’s a little intro into my political views.

Me

I do not define and limit my fight for this country to a political party.

I believe in 2 things very strongly:

* “Power Corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely” – Lord Acton

* “People should not be afraid of their Governments, Governments should be

afraid of their people?” – V

which is based upon:

“When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty. ” – Thomas Jefferson

So right now my support is for Paktan Rakyat, but that doesn’t mean it will always be

like that and it sure doesn’t mean that I am going to be blinded to their faults. I will support PR for as long as their struggle and long-term goal aligns with my fight for Malaysia. I will not define myself as a BN supporter, nor a PR Supporter. I’m just a Malaysian.

Now,

The 13th Malaysian General Elections

On the 5th of May 2013 I was one of about 10 million Malaysians that went out to the polls to vote. My first time and i was part of the biggest turnout in Malaysian history and also one of the biggest turn outs in modern history… 80%.

Many people wanted change. The urbanites, the younger generation, the first time voters.

However Barisan Nasional (BN) won.

There’s been a lot of noise of foul play and following that it has been concluded

that 5/5 was the date that Democracy Died in Malaysia because apparently our votes didn’t count.

Foul Play

I don’t want to dwell too much into fraud here. Yes, it does indeed look like fraud

was a foot. I’m not condoning it, but I also ask you if fraud is exclusive to Malaysia?

They way some people are talking it sounds like electoral fraud doesn’t happen anywhere else but Malaysia.

I would like to ask this question. What happened in the U.S. Elections of 2000, Bush vs Al Gore? There was foul play there as well, wasn’t it?

So when Malaysians say that GE13 was the dirtiest election ever in the world and democracy died here, I beg that these people think for a moment, before making such statements. Fraud happens in many elections worldwide and so does gerrymandering, so just because BN won, it doesn’t mean that this was the dirtiest elections ever.

And even after all that, Pakatan Rakyat:
still made progress,
still made inroads,
strengthened their hold on Penang,
strengthened their hold on Selangor,
took a further 7 Parliamentary seats from BN.

And Barisan Nasional:
has become even more unpopular,
lost more parliamentary seats,
lost more State Seats (collectively)
and didn’t come close to getting back their beloved 2/3 majority.

What does that tell you?

To me it shows that fraud is not enough to stop the WILL of the People, it’s just that

we didn’t have enough strength this time around to counter the trump cards that BN had up their sleeve. Sabah. Sarawak. Johor.

The Rural Vote.

The major support for Change was mostly urban, that’s NOT ENOUGH.

It is the rural areas that have the most influence. KL, Selangor and Penang do not accurately represent the rest of the country.

Jointly Sarawak, Sabah and Johor have 82 Parliamentary seats and BN won 68 as opposed to the total of 46 seats for Penang, Selangor and KL, in which PR won 36.

BNs stronghold has almost twice the number of seats than PRs stronghold.

What does this tell you?

It tells me that over the next 5 years PR has serious work to do in the rural areas.

Those are the areas that will bring the real Tsunami. The urban votes alone won’t get PR into Putrajaya.

Change

For those who are saying that change didn’t happen? Are you defining change by a change in government? If you are, I’m so sorry but you’ve got the plot wrong.

Forget BN, Forget PR, Forget Najib, Forget Anwar.

We aren’t fighting for a political party; we’re fighting for Malaysia’s soul.

Malaysia’s soul is US.

Friends, Malaysians, Countrymen.

Change should not be defined by the changing of government but off the Change in the mindset of the People.

So don’t say Change hasn’t happened – it has.

It started in 2008 and has continued growing. Many of us are more actively involved in politics. More of us have become Political Citizens and the numbers will only continue growing.

And this leads me to:

Democracy

I’ve seen many posting on Facebook & Twitter that democracy has died,

and this annoys me,

extremely.

Democracy died a long time ago, it was dead before GE12, when most people didn’t care about elections, or voting or politics, and assumed that BN would just go on ruling Malaysia.

Then 2008 happened and for the first time in decades we saw BN lose their 2/3 majority. We saw PR take two juggernaut states away from BN. We saw that our votes could make a difference. We saw change that day. We saw the rebirth of Democracy in Malaysia. We saw the beginning of the Fight for Malaysia’s soul.

I respect every individual’s political stance and opinion but if you come and tell me that Democracy is dead now, then we have a problem.

It shows that you’re just following the trend of the hour, a mere follower.

Yes, on Sunday we saw democracy get hurt and abused but it’s still alive and ready to continue the fight through fighters like Karpal and Kit Siang.

Look at how long have they been fighting? How many loses have they suffered?

Have they given up? Did they sit around and feel sorry for themselves when a setback hit them? So why do I hear so many people whining?

I’ve learnt firsthand that feeling sorry for myself never got anything done.

So lets stop the noise, stop the complaining, stop the whining and go out and help out with the cause you believe in. Because Democracy can never die as long as there are people who still BELIEVE.

So to conclude,

PR Lost.

Get over it.

This isn’t a battle, this is a War for Malaysia’s Soul,

Not for BN. Not for PR.

What’s important is that we DON’T GIVE UP because one battle was lost,

What’s most important is that PR stay strong, united and grow.

What’s most important is that we, the People, Keep Moving Forward.

Democracy cannot die as long as there are people who believe in it.

As for me,

I will not be mourning.

I’m going to celebrate the progress and the inroads that PR has made,

And see how I can actively help,

I will not change my profile picture.

Well, because I like my current one,

I still believe in Democracy,

I still believe in Malaysia.

How about you?

Straight From The Heart

Roshan ‘Arkay’ Kanesan

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Friends. Malaysians. Countrymen. – Tomorrow We Vote

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Friends. Malaysians. Countrymen. Tomorrow we vote..

Who you vote for or whether you vote or not is you choice, either action is your right. Just remember this. Whoever it is you vote for, make sure that you are true with your vote. If you vote for change remember that with change comes resistance and if you vote for stability, remember that absolute power corrupts absolutely and no improvement or greatness was ever achieved by colouring within the lines.

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Tomorrow is big day for Malaysians and Malaysia.
People in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s 60s 70s etc will be heading to the polls for their first time.

Tomorrow we are all equal.

Tomorrow we fight for what we think is right.

Whatever happens tomorrow, be vigilante, vote and be safe. If a storm comes we will brace it for every storm eventually comes to an end.

But whatever it is, don’t so anything stupid. Stay out of hot spots, don’t antagonise and keep calm.

I’m not a BN supporter. I’m not a PR Supporter.
I am Support the Rakyat. I am Pro-Rakyat.

Sidenote: don’t sit around and complain if you can vote and aren’t going to vote.

Straight From The Heart

Roshan ‘Arkay’ Kanesan

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Notes on Q1 & Q2, Goals & Guidelines

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Good Afternoon readers,

It’s feeling like quite the zoned out and blur day for me today, quite tired and all that jazz. Head’s feeling really fogged up. Hoping that my Costa Rica Tarrazu at Coffea will help clear things up :) i’m having black coffee today, which is a first, and i have to say, it’s pretty good actually.

Anyway, it’s now the 4th of April, which means that we’re 4 days into the 2nd quarter of 2013.
It’s time to look back over the last 3 months and see how things stand.

Over the last 3 months i’ve done quite a bit of travelling (Macau, Kuala Terengganu, Penang, Perth), watched SHM, had quite an awesome Birthday week, got back to classes and made better friends at Monash, read quite a bit (Clash of Kings, Storm of Swords), got back to writing, started journaling again, got the ball rolling on waking up early & exercise and of course dealing with Round 1 2013.

Essentially it’s been a quarter of small daily improvements, a quarter of repairing the foundation and of moving forward and learning. I’m fairing much better with Round 1 2013 as compared to Round 1 2012, which is good. I’ve gained a better understanding of Fibromyalgia and am making a point to spread that awareness. So that other people understand and so that i don’t forget.

As for goals, i can say that i’ve missed quite. I made my goals not accounting for setbacks and well, life in general haha.

But that doesn’t mean i’m not going to set goals for Q2, however this time i’ll take what i’ve learnt from Q1 and use that to calibrate Q2 goals; Health, Academic, Personal Development, Social & Finances.

Q2 Goals & Guidelines include:
1) a book a week
2) 3 posts a week
3) wake up at 6am 4 times a week
4) morning exercise 5 times a week
5) Study lecture content before hand.
6) not going out after 7pm & sleep by 10pm – Sunday to Wednesday.
7) 1 vegetarian meal a day
8) journal during Holy Hour (which means daily)
9) 2 road trips
10) Cut monthly expenses (includes: transport, food, coffee, phone bills, etc) to 700.

Going to work on the Q2 Goals & Guidelines a little more, but the 10 above are the core elements.

Have you thoughts about how your last quarter has gone? Have you thought about how you want the next quarter to go?

Get cracking on your goals.

Start small and simple and build on that. Set some goals for the week and simple daily goals that will help you achieve the weekly goals. Always break things down into smaller manageable steps.

They all feed into each other.

Daily Goals build up to Weekly goals that build up to Monthly goals -> Quarterly goals -> Yearly goals -> 5 years -> 10 years

With goals and guidelines you build an awareness on what’s important, and that will be the difference.

By getting clear on what you want out of life, you heighten your awareness around what’s most important. With better awareness comes better choices. And with better choices you’ll see better results. Clarity breeds success.
Robin Sharma

I leave you with that to think about,

Straight From The Heart

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Reflections @coffeacoffeemy – Fibromyalgia Strikes Back

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<br /
Good Morning people,

I'm back at Coffea Coffee with a Madonna Flat White next to me, which tastes better that yesterdays, not that it was bad yesterday but that today my perception of life is a little brighter.

It's been a while since my last weekly review/reflection, hoping to get back to making this regular, but now on mondays instead of sundays.

Reflecting on the week, ended Sunday March 17th, there is much to be concerned about, but also much to be grateful for. As usual i am grateful for the family and friends that i have around me that support me when times get dark, as they did during the last few days of the week, and celebrate with me during the good times, my 23rd birthday.
Last week I had plenty of fun with friends old & new, going out for dinner, watching Armageddon (for the first time), playing FIFA and retaining the FIFA King Title, and also saw an increase in productivity; got back to reading, though i only managed 3 hours last week; blogged more, put up 3 posts & revamped my sites layout and categories; got started on a regular sleep pattern and woke up at 6am 3 times; and a few other things which i can seem to recall right now cause my fibrofog has gotten worse from the time i woke up, from a 3/10 to a 6/10 now. which brings me to the most important part of last week;

Fibromyalgia Strikes back, with a vengeance.
My post from yesterday:

I’ve been fighting for some time now, and one thing i’ve learnt is that no matter how good things can get, there will be a time when it comes back for me. Through all this it has taught me a few things but most importantly, like all the other hurdles in my life, it’s made me stronger and made me aware of something: “The toughest fights I’ve ever been in are with no one else but myself, because once i win that fight, everything else is only a matter of time.” This week has been bittersweet, sweet because it’s been fun and there has been some improvement in productivity; bitter because while i wasn’t looking Round 1, 2013 (my first difficult spell with FMS this year) started, and i wasn’t as prepared as I would have liked to have been. I don’t know how i didn’t see this coming, i pushed myself harder than i should have over the first few days of the week and should have seen this coming when the my symptoms Spiked on Tuesday. How did i miss it? maybe i thought Tuesday was a one off thing, maybe i pulled a page out of the beginning of last year and ignored it, maybe i got arrogant and didn’t think it could hurt me this time. I think that’s the one, I got arrogant. Arrogance cost me a lot a year ago, at least this time around i’m more aware and won’t let it get as far as it did then. The pains, stiffness, aches & fatigue got mildly worse as the week proressed but yesterday… yesterday things escalated click here to continue reading

(Sidenote: Please click o the passage above to add the view count to yesterdays post. thanks)

This is sums up the end of last week, and the main point of today’s reflection. I’ve been fending of minor Fibromyalgia attacks from the beginning of the year without much problem, but last week saw the resurfacing of something that i didn’t want to see again, something i didn’t want to deal with again, but something i will have to fight again and beat again. Last year, Round 1 2012, was a fight over 3/4 months, and like i mentioned above was the toughest fight with it i’ve had over the last 3/4 years. I beat it last year, i’ll beat it again, it’s just a matter of time. I’ll need to adjust to the new battle ground and being back at uni, but i’ll get it done.

Straight From The Heart

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Arkay’s Room #1: Round 1, 2013. Fight.

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I’ve been fighting for some time now, and one thing i’ve learnt is that no matter how good things can get, there will be a time when it comes back for me. Through all this it has taught me a few things but most importantly, like all the other hurdles in my life, it’s made me stronger and made me aware of something:

“The toughest fights I’ve ever been in are with no one else but myself, because once i win that fight, everything else is only a matter of time.”

This week has been bittersweet, sweet because it’s been fun and there has been some improvement in productivity; bitter because while i wasn’t looking Round 1, 2013 (my first difficult spell with FMS this year) started, and i wasn’t as prepared as I would have liked to have been. I don’t know how i didn’t see this coming, i pushed myself harder than i should have over the first few days of the week and should have seen this coming when the my symptoms Spiked on Tuesday. How did i miss it? maybe i thought Tuesday was a one off thing, maybe i pulled a page out of the beginning of last year and ignored it, maybe i got arrogant and didn’t think it could hurt me this time. I think that’s the one, I got arrogant.

Arrogance cost me a lot a year ago, at least this time around i’m more aware and won’t let it get as far as it did then.

The pains, stiffness, aches & fatigue got mildly worse as the week proressed but yesterday… yesterday things escalated during the course of the day. The morning was ok but by evening my nerve sensitivity was quite high, a few of my trigger points were constantly hurting, my muscles were aching ,every step i took hurt and the Fog was looming. It was enough to release something that i have kept at bay for a very long time, the key to worst days of my fibromyalgia to date; Doubt. In pain, clouded and fatigued, it was Belief that kept me going, Belief in me.

Yesterday i found myself in a situation where my Doubt went straight for the jugular, it made my mind a mess. Started questions that didn’t need to be brought up, bringing out emotions that didn’t need to resurface and just causing a whole load of noise and static, it got messy. Belief is all that stands between where i am now and giving up entirely, and yesterday was only the beginning, it always is. It’s very difficult to keep the Belief going during times when I’m physically weakened by pain and fatigue with my mind being Clouded. I would find myself feeling all the confidence in the world one second and then have it all go to hell in a heartbeat and have it like that for 5 times the length of the confidence.

Round 1 is still on going and only i can win this for myself support is only support, it helps but only i can do what needs to be done, think what needs to be thought and Keep Moving Forward. I’m still in pain right now, a pat on the back hurts as thought someone slapped me there and my thoughts seem to be slower and get lost more often. Right now things seem a darker, my coffee doesn’t taste as good and I’m so very tired, i’m tired down to my bones, maybe even on a cellular level.

Sounds bad doesn’t it.

However there is a silver lining, before my revival last year things were a 100 times worse; there were days i didn’t want to get out of bed because the pains, aches, and stiffness; my FibroFog came to a point where my mind was so cluttered and clouded that thoughts would take a minute of two to surface; i wanted to give up entirely, but i didn’t.

The Doubt is strong now, that is true, and my Belief is currently shaken, but last years Big Win made it so that my Belief will not reach Round 1, 2012 lows again (i hope), and that is giving me the fuel i need to keep my Belief going as I brace this storm. That was one of the darkest & toughest times i’ve had to face and i beat it, and if i could beat that, i’ll beat this…

it’s just a matter of time.

Straight From The Heart

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Student Life @StarbucksMY

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Good Morning guys,
Hope you’re morning has been good! I’ve got my Mocha next to me as I sit at my fav table at the Starbucks Monash.

I got hit by a Fibro Spike (sudden, out of the blue, ninja spike of my fibromyalgia symptoms etc) yesterday morning that really took the wind out of me for a big part of the morning, but i managed to eventually (2 hours later) get out of bed. This morning wasn’t as bad as yesterday, it was difficult but nothing like yesterday and took me 10 minutes to shake enough of it off to get out of bed, though today i experienced something that’s been MIA for a long time, waking up moderately disorientated with a hint of nausea on the side. As for now, things seem to be pretty good. Had a good ComBank tutorial and an even better Business Law tutorial, as of now BL is my fav class, the syllabus thus far (2 weeks) has been intriguing. It’s making me wonder whether i should actually be doing law. I know it’s only been 2 weeks, it’s just that fighting against injustice is something that appeals to me, i’m not a big fan of unfairness and if there’s something i can do about something i think is wrong, I’d like to act on it.

Which brings me to today’s main course, though it’s not all that filling.

Last week i published a post about my the Monash Parking Problem, and in doing that I’ve also launched a new category, initially to be called Monash & Co, but decided that Student Life would be more apt. It doesn’t limit my writing to just Monash, but allows me to collaborate with Down Memory Lane to bring write about previous student life in; CPU, UWC.

In this category will be the writings of a student about issues ranging from infrastructure, like the last week’s piece, to academics. Essentially anything to do with my current place of eduction; currently Monash University Sunway Campus. I feel that through writing i can Act, that i can create awareness and hopefully make a change or non-change. I will write about things that i feel can change or praise things that i think have been done right.

Now, just because last weeks post didn’t reflect Monash in the best of light does it mean that all future posts will follow suit. No.

I will praise and I will critique.
I will write the good, the bad & the ugly.
It will be based on my opinion of right and wrong.
I will strive to be as unbiased as I can,
I will do my homework,

but essentially,

I’ll write it as I see it.

Just a heads up, the next few posts will not present Monash in the best of light, but it is something that needs to be put out there, just need to do a little more homework.

Well, i think that’s about it.

Oh wait i forgot!

If you have something you would like me to look into and write about please let me know, and i’ll look into it and see whether i can put a post together.

Now and as always,

Straight From The Heart

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Journaling @TheBeeMY: Off a New Year, New Hopes & New Hurts

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Happy New Year dear readers and welcome to the first post of 2013 which is coming to you from The Bee at Jaya One with Flat White by my side :)

2012 wasn’t a great year but from all the shit that life threw, I made new friends and most importantly I started writing & blogging. It was the writing that really helped me get through 2012.

The last two months of 2012 was really messy and in the mess I didn’t get to write a lot, or have many of my Holy Hour, or quiet times and due to that, I degraded in certain departments of my behaviour and development. But that was so last year, on to the present ;)

I didn’t welcome the new year in the best of moods, I was… Blind sided, and that kept me upset and disappointed through midnight and for most of the first day of the new year. I felt hurt and I don’t think anyone else saw that, all they say was that I was upset, and well, they weren’t wrong but they weren’t right either.

It’s funny that the first post of 2013 should relate to my most popular post of 2013 Those You Love The Most Can Hurt You The Worst To most observers, they would have probably thought that I was making a big deal out of a small issue, or that I wasn’t being fair and well, let them think as such, I really couldn’t care because they truly do not understand why the BlindSide had such impact. In fact, it still upsets me when I think about it.

I guess the problem stems from the fact that I’m emotionally exposed, I don’t keep them on a leash and they then attached themselves to certain events that I look forward to, to familiarities, to people… And when things go south, I’m not prepared for it, it comes as a shock, and then anger takes over to hide the hurt & disappointment. Yes, I know, all this is my own problem, I expect too much of the people closest to me, and why? Maybe it’s because I feel that I try to my best to do that which others expect of me and I expect what I give? Maybe. But whatever it is, I started off the year with a lesson, and a very important one a that, a lesson that needs to be ingrained and is vital to my personal and emotional development. I’m sure that there are others out there who feel the same, and there will be others how disagree. Truly, all that matters is that which can help me Keep Moving Forward.

@arkaysthoughts: 2013 Lesson #1
Minimise your emotional exposure. Try your best to not allow let your emotional position be reliant on others. Learn to dissociate from that which can be disassociated. Learn to care less for that which disturbs, disrupts & aggravates your mental & emotional status.

@arkaysthoughts: 2013 Lesson #2. Make today better than yesterday. Always. http://t.co/VCG1Ahd9

This was not how I wanted to start 2013, i expected something very different with certain people but I will make the beet of it and learn and develop I guess that’s lesson #3:

@arkaysthoughts: 2013 Lesson #3 life is up & down. Aways try to make the best of something. there’s always something to learn from the good, the bad & the ugly.

This post isn’t mean to be a downer or a glass half-empty post. It’s meant to be human. We are, after all, human, and what is it they say about humans?

People will disappoint & hurt you, even the closest of relationships, and the closer they are, they worse they sting. So learn this from me, I’ve made this mistake plenty of times, but the frequency is diminishing, try your best to be minimise your emotional exposure in relation to external factors. Let your feelings revolve around you and how you fair in the world, and how you progress, around things in your control. Minimise your exposure to that which you cannot control. Make it so that when people disappoint you that you don’t take it like me.

Do what you can for the people around you and leave it a that. Stretch for those who stretch for you. Reciprocate that which they give you. There won’t be many people that will do this, so make sure you know who they are, and have your priorities in order.

It is a new year and I have no doubt that there will be great times ahead for me, and of course some lows as well. Just remember to keep your expectation of others in-check and expect more from yourself to keep your drive going and so that you Keep Moving Forward, but of course keep it balanced and realistic. Remember, focus in making today better than yesterday! And taking life a step at a time. i know this isn’t one of my best works of writing, but it is a step forward.

Yes I’m not feeling great now, but that’s life, and I will work to pull myself into a better state.

Again, Happy New Year and the year will Get better :)

Straight From The Heart

 

Journaling @ True Urban Park, Bangkok: Of Engaging Ghost Protocol, Getting Poisoned & Practising Living.

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Good Afternoon guys,

I’ve been in Thailand over the last week. Spent the first few days in Kaeng Kracang and explored the Natural Parks there and enjoyed the sweet sound of nature and lack of the first world. I was in complete Ghost Protocol, completely disconnected from the world and it felt nice. It was a timely retreat from connectivity, unfortunately I only managed to get one night of good sleep thanks to having to wake up really early after a day of travelling, one night on a thin mattress, another night of food poisoning. But all in all the scenes I saw were incredible. I took loads of pics, as you can see on my Instagram, but unfortunately I could not take a pic of the night sky which was amazing. It says scattered with thousands of little diamonds, some so very bright. It was breathtaking. I was sitting at the back of a pick-up truck heading back to my chalet and spent the whole time looking up, surrounded by pitch blackness of the night. That was probably the best part of the trip, so far, that 30-45 minutes, and although there were others with me, it felt like it was just me, the stars and the cool night wind blowing thorough whatever little hair I have on my head, and it felt great. I left Baan Maka, the chalet I stayed at in Kaeng Kracang, yesterday (but not before enjoying the sunrise there) and journeyed on to Bangkok, which is now where I am. To be honest, I’m not a big fan of big, busy, crowded cities so I’m really missing Baan Maka and it’s solitude.

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Right now it’s ok, I’ve found myself a nice, urban, teched-out, “little”shelter inside the Siam Paragon Mall, True Cafe/ True Urban Park – ( @trueurbanpark). I’m away from the noise and bustle, that’s not to say I can’t handle the noise, dirt and mess of the city, I just don’t like lingering in it for too long. I actually took a 40/45 minute walk to this mall from my hotel and it was nice to explore the streets of Bangkok and I think I’ll walk back as well. But for this moment, I’m going to enjoy one of my favourite things to do, chill at a cafe with a nice cup of coffee and write.

So the question is, what should I write? I’ve already given you an intro via a look at what I’ve been up to over the week. I guess it should be something related to my trip.

Well before I took my walk here, I was actually quite reluctant to so anything. I was happy chilling at Baan Maka and The food poisoning took quite a lot out of me, including my sense of exploration, so before I walked over here I just wanted to spend the day in my hotel room, resting, napping, playing angry birds, probably some reading and at the most go downstairs to the little cafe. Getting sick had really cast a bad feeling over the trip and Bangkok’s mess didn’t make my mood any better. I was looking for any excuse to stay at the hotel, and ironically, while I was sitting I realised that I was giving into fear, I didn’t realise it before but when I did I realise that I couldn’t let things be, I had to do something. I knew I had people in this mall, so instead of taking a cab or ‘tuk tuk’ to get here, I walked and I’m glad I did, of course with the help of my iPhone and google maps to prevent me from getting lost. I really got a look at the city, not all of it but at least some of it and I’m going to walk back to see more. Today I almost let the fear instilled by getting sick prevent me from ‘Living the Day’. Of course there’s a time to be resting in bed, that’s when the fear functions to our benefit, to ensure that we can recover, but by yesterday evening I was fine, the fear was overstaying its welcome this morning and was just making me last and preventing me from ‘Putting More Living in my Day’.

Always try to make the most of a your day, Live Life, don’t watch it slip by. It’ll take practice to get to a point where it becomes a part of you, so start practicing.

Now if you’ll excuse me, not that you have a choice haha, I’m going to check out what is supposed to be the largest aquarium in South East Asia or Asia.

Straight From The Heart

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Work In Progress, I Am.

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Good Evening dear readers,

I can hear the heavy rain outside as i sit here at Artisan, enjoying my Flat White. I haven’t got back into the full swing of things, having really got back to business, not for the lack of trying, I just need to try harder. The examination month really messed up my system and the holidays haven’t helped me get back to business either. One month has already passed, it’s December and I still haven’t got to blogging regularly. It’s been harder than I thought it would be, waking up early has been more difficult than I remember it and it doesn’t help they memories of last December come back to haunt me (last December, after my finals, was the time my fibromyalgia got really bad and got the best of me) so when I wake up really tired and/or foggy, it scares me and I go back to sleep to hide away from it. The fibro fog has indeed been making cameo appearance recently, now infact. Then there are other nights when I sleep late because of social reasons, which I have indeed cut down on this week and will continue to try to make social events happen earlier. Every time I think about how I haven’t been able to get back to waking up early and blogging regularly it upsets me, and then I start to think that maybe it’s the Fibromyalgia that’s coming back but that maybe jumping to old conclusions,I’ve had the Fibromyalgia at bay for a while now, so I really hope it isn’t that. I think, maybe, I’ve figured it out. I went through a major shift in my daily routine during my examination period and I can’t just expect to get back to what was before. I’ve been doing it wrong, aiming for big steps daily so that I can quickly recover, and that’s what’s been messing me up. I forgot all about small daily improvements to build up the momentum, now, i have very little momentum and I can’t just conjure it out of thin air, I need to rebuild it, I need to reset my foundation. Thankfully because it’s already in me somewhere, it won’t take as long to build it back up. This is quite a human thing I feel, we are all works in progress.

We are All Works in Progress. Don’t expect to get to your goal easily or without friction. There will be good times and bad. Times when you will fall a sleep at the wheel and times when you feel like an MVP, remember that it’s all part of the journey. We aren’t robots and we will make mistakes. I look back to all the times that I went of course over the year, and every time I persisted and got back on track. As Tobias Wolff out it

We are made to persist. That’s how we find out who we are.

That is why we keep trying. That’s why I Keep Moving Forward. Always trying to make today better than yesterday.

There are always going to be curve balls and hurdles in the journey we are each on, it’s not going to be a perfect journey, there will be times we might take our eyes of the road and run face-first into a hurdle or lose focus and get hit by a curve ball, we aren’t perfect, as I have mentioned before many a time, we’ve just got to get back up, learn, recalibrate and get back on the road. Sometimes, we may spend some time on the sidelines, such as what I recently went through. Distracting myself with other things, not thinking about where I wanted to go, afraid of getting back on the road, convinced that I would slip up again, a story that sounds all too familiar, especially over this year. What I’ve got to always remember is that I will slip up and make mistakes and get distracted, I’m never going to be able to erased that completely but I will be able to minimise it, and the last year has been a testament to that. Every time you feel that you can Keep Moving Forward, think about how far you’ve come and how a while back you thought that maybe you couldn’t make it to where you are now. Maybe all you need, is a little breather, we all need them regularly. The problem with these little breathers, as I also know too well, is that we sometimes don’t define how long they should be and we prolong them. On the other hand there is the mistake where we don’t take breathers and keep pushing ourselves till we burn out and then face being out-of-it for a longer term.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t beat yourself up too hard when you mess up, yes beat yourself up a little, remember that we are works in progress and that every time you or I mess up, it’s an opportunity to study and learn why it happened so that we can adjust for it and Keep Moving Forward.

Straight From The Heart