What up Journal,
Today’s start was a little more painful, in that my hands & feet were hurting significantly (probably from all the standing & camera holding at last night’s event), also the Sleep inertia felt a bit more difficult to beat today, but otherwise I’m feeling ok.
Now before I get in to whatever my mind wants to say, a few words on yesterday.
Yesterday was overall good, steady energy, low symptoms for most of the day, felt motivated & was actually productive haha, both with work & editing the weekend’s vlog. However, that said, I got quite tired at like 10pm at the Art Of Time event, not sleepy, not faitugued, tired. Hopefully I was just from all the continuous standing, cause aside from the things mentioned earlier, I’m feeling ok, within the average “bands” of the last few days.
So today I was supposed to write about something else, but instead other thoughts have been triggered from last nights event, which I did vlog even though I’m on a reboot.
So.
Once upon a time, I had a Tag Heuer Carrera.
Then it was stolen from me during the robbery a few months back.
I thought that I had gotten over it, but the second I laid eyes on the watch last night at the event, I immediately felt a sense of sadness,
a metaphorical hole in my heartnext to the patched up actual whole in my heart.
Old memories popped up; a depressed nostalgia took hold.
The Carrera was my father’s, given to my for my 21st Birthday on condition that i hand it down to my (future) kid on his 21st Birthday.
Sadly that was robbed from me, literally. Oh well. Life.
I really did love this timepiece; what it meant, what it signified & what it would’ve gone on to be.
What it was supposed to be, a Kanesan family heirloom.
But such is life, things happen, and I really did think I had gotten over it but in hindsight I guess I never actually dealt with it, I just embrace denial & ignorance, keeping a mental & emotional distance from all the things I probably should’ve felt & dealt with it after we were robbed at home.
But I didn’t; I didn’t want to add to the burden of the family as we were attempting to recover from the event, I felt I had to be “strong” so that everyone else didn’t have to worry about me & could focus on themselves or the ones who were struggling to deal with the event.
Anyway, wow, that’s enough rambling for today I guess. I didn’t mean for it to get so deep & emotional, apologies for that. The words just flowed out the second I saw this pic & got typing.
Till next time,
#KMF
Sidenote: I understand that I am very lucky in many ways, that the robbery wasn’t worse, that I even had that watch for a while in the first place, that I live the comfortable live I do, that I never have to worry about food. There are many people in the world who have bigger problems & issues to worry about and that certainly adds much perspective to life. However, that said, while I’m not happy or proud that I feel this way about the watch, i don’t think it’s unreasonable to feel this way.
I’m not even sure if I needed to say that or not haha.
