Life isn’t always Smooth Sailing.


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Good Afternoon guys,
I’m back at Coffea Coffee here in Bangsar, enjoying my Flat White as i write this.

I really enjoyed writing my last piece; Closer to Home: The Fight for Malaysia’s Soul. I will definitely follow up on it, but not today as today is Friday which means an addition to my Notes on Life series is due. My next addition to my Closer to Home series should be out next Wednesday 4pm.

Notes On Life is a series that revolves around my thoughts, readings and personal experiences on matters relating to Life Lessons, Personal Development & Self-Help.

Life isn’t always Smooth Sailing; we’ve got to Fight to Live.

This is something that all of us have learnt firsthand;

Life. Isn’t. Fair.

But what I’ve also learnt is that there’s a reason to that. It shows us whether we’re a Fighter or a Quitter.

Victimhood

Of all the attitudes that humans experience, I despise Victimhood.

Why?

Because I know what it’s like to Play Victim, to feel sorry for myself, to swim in self-pity…

to absolve myself from all blame for the challenges and difficulties of life.

I lived life as a Victim for sometime last year, if you could even call that living, It was really more like just existing and watching life go by.

I hated the person I was then, so much so that I couldn’t even stand to see myself in the mirror and see what I had become, but I realize now that I had to go through it.

Seems like such a long time ago but really it just a little over a year ago.

When times were really dark and I wanted to give up, when waking up was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, a time when my mind was so clouded that most thoughts didn’t make it out and I got confused and disoriented easily, a time when pain and fatigue was my reality, everyday.

A time, I’m ashamed to say, where there seemed to be no escape from mental and physical fatigue, the pain and the Fog, and I thought about just Giving Up…

I was feeling sorry for myself, I was being a Victim, and I hated myself for it.

Revival

But now I see that I needed to hit that low, to set a benchmark for the rest of my life. In that Fight to pick myself up and climb out of the deep dark hole I called home for a while I revealed to myself the strength in me. First it was small wins, which grew, and each win grew my Self-Belief and made me stronger, not physically, but mentally.

If I continued living in Victimhood, nothing would have changed…

“He did not know how long it took, but later he looked back on this time of crying in the corner of the dark cave and thought of it as when he learned the most important rule of survival, which was that feeling sorry for yourself didn’t work. It wasn’t just that it was wrong to do, or that it was considered incorrect. It was more than that–it didn’t work.”
― Gary Paulsen, Hatchet

It was difficult at first to get out of that habit of Victimhood because honestly, it was quite addictive, I wasn’t living in reality and didn’t deal with any of my problems and challenges…
for as long as i stayed in that pit, life was… easy… in my mind I wasn’t accountable for anything, because everything was life’s fault…

“Self pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.”
― John Gardner

With the great support system, family, friends, doctors and a great book, “The Magic of Thinking Big” by David Schwartz, I climbed out of that pit of negativity, picked myself up and got back to living.

Life is still hard to me health wise, but I deal with it.

And there are some days, when things get really hard, when I indulge in a little self-pity, just to take a break from reality and acknowledge, deal with and release certain feelings and emotions that are weighing me down.

See the really problem isn’t feeling sorry for us; the problem arises when we enter that zone… and get hooked. This is the problem because after sometime the negative emotions become our norm and we then become Victims.

The People that blame everyone, and anyone, for their problems.

The People who refuse to face Life.

The People who stand on the sidelines and watch as life flies by, because they’re too afraid of getting hurt again, or failing again…

“I let myself feel good and sorry for myself, but only for a second. Daddy always said that the most useless of all human emotions was self-pity.”
― Gabrielle Zevin, All These Things I’ve Done

 

Why tell you all of this?

To make you feel sorry or bad for me? Well I don’t so neither should you.

I just wanted to illustrate that no matter how bad life looks sometimes, there’s a lesson to be learnt and a benefit to be gained, and we have the strength within us to Fight, it’s really about how much you Believe in Yourself.

Yes life can get tiring, so take a break, refuel, but don’t forget to get back to living.

Remember, We are our own worst enemy.

 

Today

I’m still fighting the good fight, the daily fight, the Fight to Live. And no matter how bad things have gotten over the last year, nothing compares to what I overcame at the beginning at 2012, and if I could beat that, I can take on whatever else life has to throw at me.

I just need to remember to pace myself.

One day at a time.

One Inch at a time.

Yes, I have long-term plans and goals but I take it a day at a time;

I’m a strong believer that Small Daily Improvements will Lead to Stunning Results,

I’m a strong believer in Making Today Better than Yesterday,

I’m a strong believer that there is a Time and Place for all things.

Life now is much better than it was a year ago. My writing has gotten better, my studies are better, my moods are better and my health and energy levels are, on average, much better.

And to aptly conclude today’s Note, here’s Sinatra’s That’s Life.

Straight From the Heart,

Roshan ‘Arkay’ Kanesan

That’s life, that’s what people say.
You’re riding high in April,
Shot down in May.
But I know I’m gonna change their tune,
When I’m right back on top in June.

That’s life, funny as it seems.
Some people get their kicks,
Steppin’ on dreams
But I just can’t let it get me down,
Cause this big old world keeps spinnin’ around.

I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,
A poet, a pawn and a king.
I’ve been up and down and over and out
But I know one thing:
Each time I find myself flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race.

That’s life, I can’t deny it,
I thought of quitting,
But my heart just won’t buy it.
Cause if I didn’t think it was worth a try,
I’d have to roll myself up in a big ball and die.

Of Conversations & Story Telling


 

Good Morning 🙂

I hope everyone is doing ok after the weekend. Yes it’s Monday and the start of another work week, but remember, you are in charge of how you feel. It’s hard, but try to be positive this manic Monday.

I’m not working today, worked the past three days at Machines. I’m loving the job but my legs might not feel the same way, feeling pretty tired today, woke up at 8 and didn’t go for a swim. Yea, but I’ll do it tomorrow! Well, now my good friend Cafe Mocha is keeping me company here at Starbucks as I think of something to write about today 😉

I got it, today I’m going to write about reading.

I know a lot of you are going to be, “but I got no time to read” or “I don’t like reading” or whatever other excuses there are. Whether your want to read is up to you (unless you’re my little brother) but the benefits are very much underrated. I would like you to check out the quote below please,

“a mind once stretched by a new idea can never return to its original dimensions.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

Think about it for a second. I love watching tv but really, after a while I start thinking to myself, ” how does this benefit me?”. Sure a little tv a day helps me unwind, but really, do we stop at an hour? Reading a good book, or a good magazine exposes us to ideas and stimulates our minds. Reading a good biography is like having a conversation with the author. And we all need such conversations to keep out minds sharp.

“Drink Coffee with Gandhi.” Robin Sharma

“Reading a book by someone you respect allows some of their brilliance to rub off on you.” Robin Sharma

One of the main factors in my tremendous recovery over the past few weeks has been reading. My in depth conversation David Schwartz about The Magic of Thinking Big revitalised my spirit and further conversations with Robin Sharma and Richard Branson further fuelled my spirit. They have exposed me to so many new concepts and ideas that have opened my mind up. They have been the main inspiration behind a lot of my articles.

My Top List of books to read
1. 7 habits of highly effective teens – Seaon Covey
2. Screw it Let’s do it Expanded – Richard Branson
3. Tuesday with Morrie
4. the Greatness Guide 1 & 2 – Robin Sharma
5. The Magic of Thinking Big – David Schawrtz
6. Your Money Ratios- Charles Farrell

And when it comes to reading, I have nothing against story books, but try to mix it up with good books that will help you grow. Autobiographies. Personal development books. Etc. of course there are story books that help you grow as well, by all means go for it, but don’t forget to make time to have a conversation with someone like Gandhi or Martin Luther King or Richard Branson. And by all means mix it up with having JK Rowling or Rick Riordan tell you a story, because having conversations with only certain people will add a certain monotony after a while.

So anyway, go and start that book you’ve been procrastinating about. Don’t start any new tv shows! And hey, if you’ve got nothing on your book shelf, take a look at my list above.

Have a great day,

Straight From The Heart

Arkay6

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A Rekindled Spirit


Good morning everyone,

A month or so back, mornings weren’t very good, in fact most days weren’t very good. Days felt dark, life didnt have colour, I felt down, I was in pain, always tired…. my spirit was broken.

I was just riding life, letting life act on me instead of it being the other way around. I was a shadow of the person I used to be. That ambitious & positive 18 year old that left for India but came back broken.

“Great effort springs naturally from a great attitude.” – Pat Riley

From the time I came back from India I rode waves of highs and then longer and meaner waves of lows. I would fight back for a bit, after reading a good book but eventually the motivation would wear off and I would be back in a rut of self-pity, negativity and some depression. I felt like a failure a lot of the time. And this went on until a couple weeks back. Funnily enough I started feeling a lot better after coming home from a week in a Mumbai, maybe India gave me back what was once mine?

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make a mistake.” – Elbert Hubbard

Actually my mood and attitude started picking up after I read this book by David Schwartz, “The Magic of Thinking Big,” given to me to my 21st birthday by Zoran & Cheryl, a couple that I have much respect and admiration for. The book was the spark I needed to rekindle my spirit. It opened my eyes and made me realise how different I was, how much I had lost, the ambition, the big dreams, the fire,the person that I used to be. I started to feel alive again, cause it really did feel like I was in a coma, just drifting through life one day at a time, wasting my time doing god knows what. But anyway, once I came back from India I felt more alive.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

How poetic, that I regained my spirit from the very place that stole it from me.

“If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

So why am I telling you my sob story? Because I believe that are so many other people out there, that were just like me, facing problems, looking at the world through misted windows, feeling that there’s no hope, no point, feeling like failures. But we must remember, that the most successful people are also the ones who have tasted defeat more than most, they just don’t let it win.

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” – Winston Churchill

The most important thing in our life is our attitude. Whether we are more positive or more negative. It will shape our view of the world and how we act towards it, I became quite negative when I came back from India in 2010, and once I realised how bad things had become, how low i had gone, I made a conscious effort to be more positive, and it is paying off. I feel much better, life is good, my blog has been active, I’m enjoying writing, I’m more outgoing and I’m pursuing a few things. yes, I still get tired, and I am still in pain, but they dont seem as daunting as they were when I was feeling like shit, I’m not as tired and the pain has decreased.

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France

I once again believe that I can achieve great things,
I know there will be mistakes & failure,
But that doesn’t mean I should stop trying,
I’m going to act on life, not let life act on me.

If you need someone to talk to please don’t hesitate to contact me. The most important thing when you feel down is to have someone you can talk to. My email address is arkaysthoughts@icloud.com

Straight from the Heart,

Arkay 6

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