i’ve been having a few off days, but coping with all the nonsense that’s been coming my way. Progress is happening.
So I’m back at Starbucks Monash with my mocha and my thoughts.
So let’s talk about life.
People change as life progresses, we hope for the better, but sometimes it’s for the worse. We change to adapt, to move forward and to survive. As much as i’ve adapted to Living with Fibromyalgia, i’ve been making one big fat mistake…
I’m holding myself to standards i set out when I was 18. Standards set after leaving school on quite the high: Head Prefect, the President’s Award, Great SPM results and acceptance into a UWC.
All during a time when i had no clue what Fibromyalgia was. And what it would eventually mean for me…
That was the Old Me, and I need to accept the fact that the Old Me is dead. I cannot expect myself to live up to standards of then, it’s just unrealistic and will do me more harm than good; physically, mentally & emotionally. I’m not saying that i’m going to stop dreaming, but i am definitely going to need to be less harsh and more patient with myself.
I need to accept
that it’ll take me longer to achieve my goals than it would be for a regular person
that my health is the undisputed #1 priority in my life
that my potential isn’t as great as it would have been when i was 18
but that doesn’t mean
that i wont reach my goals
that i can’t focus on other parts of my life
that I won’t do great things.
It just means that
I need to allocate resources better
I need Take care of myself
I need to look for different paths, ways and options.
The death of the Old Me by Fibromyalgia doesn’t mean in any way that my life is over,
Good Morning guys,
Hope you’re morning has been good! I’ve got my Mocha next to me as I sit at my fav table at the Starbucks Monash.
I got hit by a Fibro Spike (sudden, out of the blue, ninja spike of my fibromyalgia symptoms etc) yesterday morning that really took the wind out of me for a big part of the morning, but i managed to eventually (2 hours later) get out of bed. This morning wasn’t as bad as yesterday, it was difficult but nothing like yesterday and took me 10 minutes to shake enough of it off to get out of bed, though today i experienced something that’s been MIA for a long time, waking up moderately disorientated with a hint of nausea on the side. As for now, things seem to be pretty good. Had a good ComBank tutorial and an even better Business Law tutorial, as of now BL is my fav class, the syllabus thus far (2 weeks) has been intriguing. It’s making me wonder whether i should actually be doing law. I know it’s only been 2 weeks, it’s just that fighting against injustice is something that appeals to me, i’m not a big fan of unfairness and if there’s something i can do about something i think is wrong, I’d like to act on it.
Which brings me to today’s main course, though it’s not all that filling.
Last week i published a post about my the Monash Parking Problem, and in doing that I’ve also launched a new category, initially to be called Monash & Co, but decided that Student Life would be more apt. It doesn’t limit my writing to just Monash, but allows me to collaborate with Down Memory Lane to bring write about previous student life in; CPU, UWC.
In this category will be the writings of a student about issues ranging from infrastructure, like the last week’s piece, to academics. Essentially anything to do with my current place of eduction; currently Monash University Sunway Campus. I feel that through writing i can Act, that i can create awareness and hopefully make a change or non-change. I will write about things that i feel can change or praise things that i think have been done right.
Now, just because last weeks post didn’t reflect Monash in the best of light does it mean that all future posts will follow suit. No.
I will praise and I will critique.
I will write the good, the bad & the ugly.
It will be based on my opinion of right and wrong.
I will strive to be as unbiased as I can,
I will do my homework,
but essentially,
I’ll write it as I see it.
Just a heads up, the next few posts will not present Monash in the best of light, but it is something that needs to be put out there, just need to do a little more homework.
Well, i think that’s about it.
Oh wait i forgot!
If you have something you would like me to look into and write about please let me know, and i’ll look into it and see whether i can put a post together.
#BacktoClass
A new academic year has started and as such I’m back here at my old writing spot at Starbucks Monash Sunway, it’s been at least 4 months since i last blogged from here. Today i am accompanied by Latte, 2 normals shots topped off by a decaf shot. Good to see that many of the faces from the last semester are still around behind the espresso machine.
Birthday Present!
Now, maybe you’ve noticed a new addition to the pic above and maybe you haven’t, for my recent 23rd birthday my A-Team got me a Logitech bluetooth enable keyboard for my iPad and today is the first time i’m really using it and i have to say, it’s pretty damn nice. Thanks guys. Not that i didn’t like typing on the iPad itself, it’s just that now i won’t lose touch with typing on my macbook, which was happening last year. the iPad on-screen keyboard is way more compact than the physical keyboards and i started having some trouble typing on a physical keyboard a few months after getting my iPad, so now that will not be happening, feels very close to typing on my MacBook Pro. Oh, and now that there is no keyboard on-screen, the entire Retina Display is dedicated to my writing, that’s probably my favourite thing.
Today’s Point
The current issue on mind was kicked off by the Sunway Monash Residence office and their communication failure 2 weeks ago.
I was at the SMR office to apply for the the Non-Resident SMR parking, and was told that they don’t do pre-bookings and that i would have to apply next month. I figured that to mean come on March 1st. i actually thought about applying there and then for February, and i pay for the current month, which would essentially be burning the 50 bucks for Feb, but since I was told that there was no pre-booking i figured that if i come early on the 1st there wouldn’t be any problems applying. However i would not be able to go on the first so i got help from my mum and a friend but that came to nothing as i was told a few days before the 1st, while i was in perth, that not only was the SMR Non-Resident parking lot full but that the waiting list was closed.
Now imagine my confusion,
how can there be a wait-list if there is no pre-booking the week before the beginning of the next month. I was confused and not pleased, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying my great perth holiday; which i will talk about at a later date. So, on the first day of this semester i went over to the SMR office to talk to them but that came to nothing, there was nothing they could do to help me out, even though it was one of them who misinformed and mislead me. All i kept hearing was, “the waiting list is closed” and found out that they were taking-in applications on the 25th of feb….
Wait a sec… let me see if my math and concept of space and time is right…
A week is 7 days, thus 7 days before the 1st of march is = 23rd of February… but wait, that can’t be right because i was told there was pre-booking and that no applications are taken in during the last week of a month,
so…
is the SMR Office using a different calendar system (in which the should be public about it) or is my basic concept of the calendar system at fault?
Dear SMR Office,i think you guys need to get your act together and be very clear on your Non-Resident Parking Application Policies & Procedures, something like the incredibly detailed set rules and regulations for the parking lot that’s on the application form, but for the Application Process. Hopefully this happens sometime soon, hey maybe i’ll go over and suggest it, so that students like myself aren’t let down in such a confusing & bitter manner.
Oh, and in the event that you do actually have formal procedures & policies for applying, why was i not provided with that information when i came to inquire 2 weeks ago, or better yet last year when i got the lot.
So what i learnt from all this and my couple visits to the SMR office is the customer service isn’t all that and that there are people there that just don’t know how to communicate and that you can’t trust what one person communicates entirely as it may not even be right.
Ok, so i didn’t get my nice parking spot, i’ll just revert to the normal parking right?
But wait,
Unfortunately the Monash University Student Car Park (SCP) fills up by 9am, on most days, and the median, mean and mode of my classes is 12pm. So this posed a problem on Tuesday when I arrived at Monash at 10am… which was solved by parking by the side of the road that also leads to the SMR Main Entrance, somewhere in the region of a 10 minute walk from campus, somewhere on the road next to the South Quay Lake.
And I wasn’t the only one who had to park there, there were at least another 40 cars there.
Yes i was irritated and angry that I was misinformed and that in order to get a space at the SCP i would need to be there by 8:45am but I will (and have) adjust(ed). My little parking problem alone isn’t a big deal but i’m not alone in this, there are many students who face problems with parking everyday and some to an extent where they are late for class (even though they came plenty early) or miss class, Monash University Sunway Campus needs to do something, maybe buy some land next to the SMR or near the South Quay lake and build a multi level car park with a proper weather proof student walkway to campus.
Unsustainable Growth
How can you keep enrolling more students when you do not adjust the parking capacity to support the growth? Once upon a time, from a year ago, it was possible to get parking between the hours of 9 & 10am, but by 9 it’s not at capacity but over-capacity and spilling out all over the place.
Just let me be clear,
I’m not whining about this. yes I was on a rant for some parts of this post (at the least haha) but like i said, i’ll adjust and deal with this current problem, i’ve had much bigger problems to deal with over the last year than that of this.
Silver Lining?
Well,
It will give me a bigger push to wake up bring & early to get my morning rituals done and be at the monash parking by 8:30am, it’s going to encourage me to plan for the week and stick with it and i’m going to save a little more money.
Parking a week will cost me now RM8, which is RM32 a month which is Rm18 saved. hahaha.
However,
I would really encourage Monash to help ease this major parking problem as it is their concern, it is a direct problem for their biggest stakeholders, the students! and i also hope that SMR will get their act together, their customer service could be much better and so could their communication & transparency.
Good Morning, it’s my first day back to class today, unfortunately I woke up later than I planned which messed up my morning routine, couldn’t have my Holy Hour and I’m going to have to rush through this piece. For a while I just wanted to stay in bed, for a I while I asked myself why didn’t I just why did I decide to come back this semester and a few excuses started popping into my head. I got up anyway, off my bed and into the shower and that’s when I realised why i was thinking that way, I was scared.
I’ve been away for more than 7 months and it’s scary getting back to class. What if I fail again? What if I can’t handle the stress and the Fibromyalgia decides to flare up again? What if, what if, what if… Well, I’m never ever going to know when I’ll be fully ready to get back, I’ve spent the last few months trying my best to get to this point, so let’s see what happens. I’ll never know what will happen if I just stay under the covers.
I need to believe that I’ll be fine and organise myself to stay on track. Sleeping early, getting up early, eating healthy, laughing, studying and all that jazz. All that is going to be more important now than before, to keep me moving forward. To further propel me as I enter the next phase of my Second Coming.
Yes today didn’t start as planned, but I’m here now, I’m writing now, I’m on track for class, sure I didn’t get my Holy Hour, I’ll learn from the mistake and correct it. Mistakes will happen, not everything will go according to plan, I’m just happy that I adapt and made the nest of the time I had before class.
Yup I’m scared, because once I enter that lecture hall, it all becomes real, I will be back at uni, and in the back if my mind will be that fear that I might fail again. But as I wrote sometime back,
Facing Fears = Power
Good morning everyone,
For a change I’m writing from the Starbucks at Gardens, but still with my cafe mocha.
Today is a big day for me, I hope it all goes well.
On that note, I want to talk about the power that you get once you face your fears, once you’ve completed that task that you have been resisting. I’m actually pretty scared now, I’m going for a job interview after this, to get a sales position at Machines, hopefully Machines Gardens. I’m scared because I have never done this before, this is new to me. Have never had a real job before. Thoughts have been popping into my head. “what If I can’t do it?” “what of I don’t get it?” “do I really want it?””I can still cancel” “I don’t have to do it” bla bla bla.
But you know what, I want this job, It is a step in the right direction, I want to learn how an apple reseller works, so that maybe i can have my own franchise one day, I want to sell Apple products because I am passionate about them, I want the experience as i want to continue to grow but most importantly, I want to move forward. It’s been a great productive 5 weeks, and I want to continue that flow. I’ve been writing, reading, sleeping well, exercising, dabbled in investing, meeting people etc. I think I’ve mentioned before, this feels like my second coming.
All those questions and doubts, were coming from a place of fear, fear of failure, fear of the unknown. And I will face that fear because once its done…. It will give me power and confidence.
For example, yesterday I finally met a lecturer that I’ve been meaning to meet for a while, I put it off for so long cause I was scared, intimidated, worried etc etc. I was afraid I would mess up the meeting, but finally, yesterday, i just did it. I took the elevator up and met her and you know what? It was a great meeting. She has pointed me in the right direction to sort out my issues reading my Accounting Major and I have a meeting with the Director of Undergraduate Studies today. Hopefully she will be able to help me solve my problem. I’ve been procrastinating for so long simply because I didn’t want to face the fear of not being able to pursue Accounting, or having to delay my graduation by another semester and all those things. The phrase “Ignorance is Bliss” comes to mind, but ignoring the problems isn’t going to make them go away. No. That require conscious effort. Sometimes we run away from our fears so that we can pretend they’re not there, I sorry, but it’s time to wake up.
“I know of no more encouraging fact than th unquestionable ability of a human being to elevate their life by conscious endeavour.” Henry David Thoreau
So today, I’ve got two big steps to take, my first real job interview and a meeting at university. Both are big steps. And I am scared, but I’m not going to run away from this challenge. I will face it
And whatever happens, I will face that as well. If I don’t get the job so be it. If the meeting doesn’t go well I’ll extend my studies by another semester because failure is inevitable in the journey of life, you just have to make sure that the failure doesn’t stop you from moving forward. I’ve had enough of being scared, how about you?
“Fail Faster. Succeed sooner.” David Kelley
“Screw-ups are the mark of excellence.” Tom Peters
“twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do that by he ones you did.” mark twain
“the real risk lies in risked living.” robin sharma
Again i know it’s been a while since i’ve posted and i apologize, i am working to make this a more regular thing.
Today I’m going to talk about Belief, not religious beliefs but Believing in yourself.
“Belief, strong belief, triggers the mind to figure out ways and means and how-to.”
The lack of self-belief is plaguing us.There are so many of us that are scared to exit our comfort zones, so afraid to leave it because you might fall or get scratched. All because society has tabooed mistakes & failure, (largely due to flawed fundamentals of education systems, but that’s for another day) making it seem that in order to be successful and live a good life, one cannot fail, one cannot make mistakes. This goes on to lead people into confining themselves to the “Known” so that they minimize the risk of failure. But what most people do not seem to understand is that we are human and we will make mistakes. Mistakes is the fundamental ingredient in success, progress and greatness.
Richard Branson. Steve Jobs. Thomas Edison.
What is life if you do not experiment and learn? Better yet, what would life be like if everyone confined themselves in their comfort zones? The human race would not be where it is now. BIll Gates and Steve Jobs would now have gone to form Microsoft and Apple. Henry Ford would not have mass manufactured the car. Slavery would still be a norm. Columbus would have never discovered the ‘New World’ and the list would go on. The conclusion being that we would have never progressed, that we would still be hunting animals and living in caves, if we would have even made it that far.
WD-40 stands for Water Displacement, 40th attempt, they failed the first 39 times.
Mistakes help us learn, failure makes us stronger, it weeds out the weak. The most successful amongst us are the ones who fail the most; the difference is that they didn’t let failure paralyze them into fear, they picked themselves up, dusted themselves off and kept going. These are the people who end up being great, the “Crazy Ones”. They aren’t afraid of falling in the mud, of entering new areas, they aren’t afraid to learn and push the boundaries of what they already know. The reason that they weren’t afraid is because they believed in themselves and what they were doing.
Persistence. Experimentation. Determination.
Self-belief is the most important factor in fighting fear of failure. People are afraid to make mistakes because they worry that they will not be able to overcome it. They do not believe that they can handle the potential curve ball that life has been known to throw. They do not believe that they will be able to pick themselves up after what could be a potentially bad fall. They lack the confidence to think that they can do it, and that’s the difference between achieving greatness and mediocrity. That’s the difference between winning and losing, and yea, you may not win all the time even though you believed in yourself but you’re not going to let the loss of one battle make you surrender the war.
“When looking at the most successful people and organizations, we often imagine geniuses with a smooth journey straight to the promised land. But when you really examine nearly every success story, they are filled with crushing defeats, near-death experiences, and countless setbacks.” – Josh Linkner, Fast Company.
Straight From the Heart,
I need to start believing that I will get through this. One semester at a time. This is the next big step in my recovery, in my Second Coming, in strengthening my Will to Keep Moving Forward.
And you know what, I will get through this. It’ll be fine, as long as I don’t lose focus and most importantly, as long as I don’t lose faith in my ability to get through, as long as I don’t stop believing in me. And so what if I fail, I’ve been through worse, from where I was when I left Monash all those month ago and now, ive made quite the turn around. From the broken young man who was ready to just give up, to one who is ready to face his fears, to Keep Moving Forward. As I have mentioned before, I know it won’t be smooth sailings, but as long as i don’t need up like how I was 6/7 months ago, I think I’ll be fine.
Facing my Fear will give me more strength to Keep Moving Forward, easier said than done I know, but doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
And you now what else helped make my day a little better? That my Soy Café Mocha was free today. 🙂
For a change I’m writing from the Starbucks at Gardens, but still with my cafe mocha. 🙂
Today is a big day for me, I hope it all goes well.
On that note, I want to talk about the power that you get once you face your fears, once you’ve completed that task that you have been resisting. I’m actually pretty scared now, I’m going for a job interview after this, to get a sales position at Machines, hopefully Machines Gardens. I’m scared because I have never done this before, this is new to me. Have never had a real job before. Thoughts have been popping into my head. “what If I can’t do it?” “what of I don’t get it?” “do I really want it?””I can still cancel” “I don’t have to do it” bla bla bla.
But you know what, I want this job, It is a step in the right direction, I want to learn how an apple reseller works, so that maybe i can have my own franchise one day, I want to sell Apple products because I am passionate about them, I want the experience as i want to continue to grow but most importantly, I want to move forward. It’s been a great productive 5 weeks, and I want to continue that flow. I’ve been writing, reading, sleeping well, exercising, dabbled in investing, meeting people etc. I think I’ve mentioned before, this feels like my second coming.
All those questions and doubts, were coming from a place of fear, fear of failure, fear of the unknown. And I will face that fear because once its done…. It will give me power and confidence.
For example, yesterday I finally met a lecturer that I’ve been meaning to meet for a while, I put it off for so long cause I was scared, intimidated, worried etc etc. I was afraid I would mess up the meeting, but finally, yesterday, i just did it. I took the elevator up and met her and you know what? It was a great meeting. She has pointed me in the right direction to sort out my issues reading my Accounting Major and I have a meeting with the Director of Undergraduate Studies today. Hopefully she will be able to help me solve my problem. I’ve been procrastinating for so long simply because I didn’t want to face the fear of not being able to pursue Accounting, or having to delay my graduation by another semester and all those things. The phrase “Ignorance is Bliss” comes to mind, but ignoring the problems isn’t going to make them go away. No. That require conscious effort. Sometimes we run away from our fears so that we can pretend they’re not there, I sorry, but it’s time to wake up.
“I know of no more encouraging fact than th unquestionable ability of a human being to elevate their life by conscious endeavour.” Henry David Thoreau
So today, I’ve got two big steps to take, my first real job interview and a meeting at university. Both are big steps. And I am scared, but I’m not going to run away from this challenge. I will face it
And whatever happens, I will face that as well. If I don’t get the job so be it. If the meeting doesn’t go well I’ll extend my studies by another semester because failure is inevitable in the journey of life, you just have to make sure that the failure doesn’t stop you from moving forward. I’ve had enough of being scared, how about you?
“Fail Faster. Succeed sooner.” David Kelley
“Screw-ups are the mark of excellence.” Tom Peters
“twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do that by he ones you did.” mark twain
“the real risk lies in risked living.” robin sharma
arkaysthoughts 