Journaling @TheBeeMY: Off a New Year, New Hopes & New Hurts


Happy New Year dear readers and welcome to the first post of 2013 which is coming to you from The Bee at Jaya One with Flat White by my side 🙂

2012 wasn’t a great year but from all the shit that life threw, I made new friends and most importantly I started writing & blogging. It was the writing that really helped me get through 2012.

The last two months of 2012 was really messy and in the mess I didn’t get to write a lot, or have many of my Holy Hour, or quiet times and due to that, I degraded in certain departments of my behaviour and development. But that was so last year, on to the present 😉

I didn’t welcome the new year in the best of moods, I was… Blind sided, and that kept me upset and disappointed through midnight and for most of the first day of the new year. I felt hurt and I don’t think anyone else saw that, all they say was that I was upset, and well, they weren’t wrong but they weren’t right either.

It’s funny that the first post of 2013 should relate to my most popular post of 2013 Those You Love The Most Can Hurt You The Worst To most observers, they would have probably thought that I was making a big deal out of a small issue, or that I wasn’t being fair and well, let them think as such, I really couldn’t care because they truly do not understand why the BlindSide had such impact. In fact, it still upsets me when I think about it.

I guess the problem stems from the fact that I’m emotionally exposed, I don’t keep them on a leash and they then attached themselves to certain events that I look forward to, to familiarities, to people… And when things go south, I’m not prepared for it, it comes as a shock, and then anger takes over to hide the hurt & disappointment. Yes, I know, all this is my own problem, I expect too much of the people closest to me, and why? Maybe it’s because I feel that I try to my best to do that which others expect of me and I expect what I give? Maybe. But whatever it is, I started off the year with a lesson, and a very important one a that, a lesson that needs to be ingrained and is vital to my personal and emotional development. I’m sure that there are others out there who feel the same, and there will be others how disagree. Truly, all that matters is that which can help me Keep Moving Forward.

@arkaysthoughts: 2013 Lesson #1
Minimise your emotional exposure. Try your best to not allow let your emotional position be reliant on others. Learn to dissociate from that which can be disassociated. Learn to care less for that which disturbs, disrupts & aggravates your mental & emotional status.

@arkaysthoughts: 2013 Lesson #2. Make today better than yesterday. Always.

This was not how I wanted to start 2013, i expected something very different with certain people but I will make the beet of it and learn and develop I guess that’s lesson #3:

@arkaysthoughts: 2013 Lesson #3 life is up & down. Aways try to make the best of something. there’s always something to learn from the good, the bad & the ugly.

This post isn’t mean to be a downer or a glass half-empty post. It’s meant to be human. We are, after all, human, and what is it they say about humans?

People will disappoint & hurt you, even the closest of relationships, and the closer they are, they worse they sting. So learn this from me, I’ve made this mistake plenty of times, but the frequency is diminishing, try your best to be minimise your emotional exposure in relation to external factors. Let your feelings revolve around you and how you fair in the world, and how you progress, around things in your control. Minimise your exposure to that which you cannot control. Make it so that when people disappoint you that you don’t take it like me.

Do what you can for the people around you and leave it a that. Stretch for those who stretch for you. Reciprocate that which they give you. There won’t be many people that will do this, so make sure you know who they are, and have your priorities in order.

It is a new year and I have no doubt that there will be great times ahead for me, and of course some lows as well. Just remember to keep your expectation of others in-check and expect more from yourself to keep your drive going and so that you Keep Moving Forward, but of course keep it balanced and realistic. Remember, focus in making today better than yesterday! And taking life a step at a time. i know this isn’t one of my best works of writing, but it is a step forward.

Yes I’m not feeling great now, but that’s life, and I will work to pull myself into a better state.

Again, Happy New Year and the year will Get better 🙂

Straight From The Heart


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