Work In Progress, I Am.

Good Evening dear readers,

I can hear the heavy rain outside as i sit here at Artisan, enjoying my Flat White. I haven’t got back into the full swing of things, having really got back to business, not for the lack of trying, I just need to try harder. The examination month really messed up my system and the holidays haven’t helped me get back to business either. One month has already passed, it’s December and I still haven’t got to blogging regularly. It’s been harder than I thought it would be, waking up early has been more difficult than I remember it and it doesn’t help they memories of last December come back to haunt me (last December, after my finals, was the time my fibromyalgia got really bad and got the best of me) so when I wake up really tired and/or foggy, it scares me and I go back to sleep to hide away from it. The fibro fog has indeed been making cameo appearance recently, now infact. Then there are other nights when I sleep late because of social reasons, which I have indeed cut down on this week and will continue to try to make social events happen earlier. Every time I think about how I haven’t been able to get back to waking up early and blogging regularly it upsets me, and then I start to think that maybe it’s the Fibromyalgia that’s coming back but that maybe jumping to old conclusions,I’ve had the Fibromyalgia at bay for a while now, so I really hope it isn’t that. I think, maybe, I’ve figured it out. I went through a major shift in my daily routine during my examination period and I can’t just expect to get back to what was before. I’ve been doing it wrong, aiming for big steps daily so that I can quickly recover, and that’s what’s been messing me up. I forgot all about small daily improvements to build up the momentum, now, i have very little momentum and I can’t just conjure it out of thin air, I need to rebuild it, I need to reset my foundation. Thankfully because it’s already in me somewhere, it won’t take as long to build it back up. This is quite a human thing I feel, we are all works in progress.

We are All Works in Progress. Don’t expect to get to your goal easily or without friction. There will be good times and bad. Times when you will fall a sleep at the wheel and times when you feel like an MVP, remember that it’s all part of the journey. We aren’t robots and we will make mistakes. I look back to all the times that I went of course over the year, and every time I persisted and got back on track. As Tobias Wolff out it

We are made to persist. That’s how we find out who we are.

That is why we keep trying. That’s why I Keep Moving Forward. Always trying to make today better than yesterday.

There are always going to be curve balls and hurdles in the journey we are each on, it’s not going to be a perfect journey, there will be times we might take our eyes of the road and run face-first into a hurdle or lose focus and get hit by a curve ball, we aren’t perfect, as I have mentioned before many a time, we’ve just got to get back up, learn, recalibrate and get back on the road. Sometimes, we may spend some time on the sidelines, such as what I recently went through. Distracting myself with other things, not thinking about where I wanted to go, afraid of getting back on the road, convinced that I would slip up again, a story that sounds all too familiar, especially over this year. What I’ve got to always remember is that I will slip up and make mistakes and get distracted, I’m never going to be able to erased that completely but I will be able to minimise it, and the last year has been a testament to that. Every time you feel that you can Keep Moving Forward, think about how far you’ve come and how a while back you thought that maybe you couldn’t make it to where you are now. Maybe all you need, is a little breather, we all need them regularly. The problem with these little breathers, as I also know too well, is that we sometimes don’t define how long they should be and we prolong them. On the other hand there is the mistake where we don’t take breathers and keep pushing ourselves till we burn out and then face being out-of-it for a longer term.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t beat yourself up too hard when you mess up, yes beat yourself up a little, remember that we are works in progress and that every time you or I mess up, it’s an opportunity to study and learn why it happened so that we can adjust for it and Keep Moving Forward.

Straight From The Heart