Deep Work

Good Morning/Good Afternoon guys,

Thanks for joining me today. My plan of waking up early crashed and burnt, but I’ll try again tomorrow. The body aches were quite bad this morning, but hey, life’s like that, ups and downs. I had a helluva weekend and now it’s time to pay the piper. I am at Starbucks Monash, just sitting, thinking and sipping. My phone is on silent in a corner as I focus on the task at hand, as I focus on thinking and writing. I have initiated Ghost Protocol so that I may concentrate and do some ‘Deep Work’ as Robin Sharma calls it.

Too many of us get distracted whilst we are trying to focus on the task at hand, and though many would like to blame technology and social media for this, they are not to blame, we are. If we cannot concentrate on a task, if we get distracted by a message or a FB notification or a tweet, it’s not your phones fault, or Facebook’s fault or Twitter’s fault, it’s yours. Turn on airplane mode if you have too, put your phone on silent and tuck it under a pillow. Have some discipline.

Put aside a chunk of time to do some deep work or thinking, go Ghost Protocol. We all need A Room of One’s Own. Set some time aside, put your phone away and just get to work, do some deep, quality work, and when your done, you’ll be happy that you did it. You won’t regret not replying the message from a friend asking you to hangout, as long as you’ve made full use of that 1 or 2 or 3 hour chuck to do some deep work full of quality. And hey, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t make it a full session without getting distracted, you don’t get to genius without first being a beginner and making mistakes. Just make sure you Keep Moving Forward , small daily improvements will lead to stunning results over time.

So what are you waiting for, go forth and do some deep work. Start small and Keep Moving Forward. Go start with 30 minutes without distractions and when you succeed in keeping 100% concentrated for that chunk of time, increase it, keep improving. And then one day, you’ll be able to put in 3/4 hours of full force deep work and then, you’ll realise that your productivity and quality has reached a whole new level of genius, simply because you got rid of distractions for a chunk of time and kept making small daily improvements.

We all make mistakes in this journey we call life, don’t let it stop you.

So Keep Moving Forward, go Ghost Protocol when you need to and most importantly, make sure you take responsibility and accountability for your life.

Straight From The Heart

Reference Points

Good Morning everyone, as you can see I’m at Starbucks, but not my regular one. Today’s Soy Café Mocha is much better than yesterday’s unfortunately I forgot my tumbler, oh well.

So today, I’m going to write bout reference points. Life is all about that. How you do what you do when you do it is based upon this principle, that we have reference points. The below is an excerpt from one of Robin Sharma’s books. It depicts this principle pretty damn well.

“Lance Armstrong is a great reference point on persistence. My father is a great reference point on integrity. My mother is an excellent reference point on kindness. My kids are superb reference points on what unconditional love an boundless curiosity looks like. Richard Branson is a spectacular reference point on living a full-out life. Madonna is a greet reference point on reinvention. Peter Drucker was a wonderful reference point on the importance of lifelong learning. Nelson Mendela is a brilliant reference point on courage and humanitarianism.” Robin Sharma

Many of us, as we grew up, faced this dilemma, after an exam our parents would say look at the people who scored better while we say, “but look I did better then etc etc.” and on the other hand when I would mention that my friend has this toy or this fancy gadget, they would go the other way and say look a the kids on the street. So yea, how happy you are will definitely depend on what your outlook on life is.

Pick good reference points to drive you to the life you want to have, they don’t have to be people like Mandela, they can be the people in by our life, your mum, your dad, your aunt, your boss. This reference points will help keep you focused on what you want in life, where your want to go and how you want to live. What type of person you want to become. It will shape your look on how your life is, how good it is or how bad it is, it all depends on the reference points you pick.

If you are going through a tough time, read about Lance and maybe he will help you find the strength you need, if you don’t think you’ll be able to achieve your dreams, read about Branson and maybe he will help you clarify your vision and ignite your spirit and self belief. When you find that your little cousin is annoying you, think about your parents and the patience they had raising you.

Reference points are so damn important. And whether you know it or not, have already have them, no it’s whether you are happy with your current reference points. These will set the standards that you will live by. The person you will strive to be, the principles you will live by, the things you will do and most importantly, it will determine your happiness.

Straight From The Heart

Saturday “Should Have Been Morning” Reflections

Good evening everyone,

How’s everyone doing? Today has been really good. I’m in PD right now with some great friends, it’s been great so far 🙂 the drive down was great, I had really fun time driving down. Had some great food at this place in Seremban. The pics should be on Twitter.

So as for reflections, this week has been better, Monday to Wednesday was awesome, Thursday not so awesome and Friday and today have been great. Been getting back to my “good routines”, expect for the swimming in the mornings. Life is looking good, I’ve learnt to let go of things that I can’t control, I’ll do my best and leave the rest to life. That’s all that I can do. All you can do in life is your best. This somehow reminds me of this line

The price of discipline is always better than the pain of regret.

Keep that in mind, it is a very powerful thought.

This week has been filled with the right steps going forward, yes it wasn’t perfect, but the good definitely outweighed the bad. One of my most precious friendships, that was in some trouble, has turned around and it is looking really good. My good friend graduated from Pre-U. I got back to work. Ivy is on the way (3 weeks).

Looking back, I’ve learnt more about friendship, it’s not always easy, and it takes two to tango. There are always two sides to a story. Respect the people around you the same you would want people to respect you. Don’t dish out what you can’t handle and there are things in life that matter and others that don’t. Make sure you know the difference. Please pardon my language but there are things in life that you just got to look and say, “Fuggitt”. You know who and what’s important to you, and that’s all that matters.

Straight From The Heart

Tuesday Morning Inspiration 7

Good Morning guys, I’m feeling pretty good today. Yesterday was an awesome day, I woke up early, blogged, worked, had tea with dad, had tea with friends, was on form during my vocal lesson, then Noble 2 and I were invited for the Sunway London Summer Musical by a friend and her family and then we indulged in satay. 🙂 pretty awesome day. Oh, and I ordered my Retina Display MacBook Pro with 16gb RAM. 🙂

Today is the 7th Tuesday Morning Inspiration.

Today I’m not going to post up a video but talk about music. The music you listen to definitely affects your mood, so I suggest that you compile a playlist of songs that gets up pumped up, motivated, inspired etc and play it first thing in the morning as you get ready to face the world. Based on my own experience, it works wonders. This music will enrich your soul, help pick up up when your down and give you the strength to go The extra mile. Have you ever noticed that you manage to run/workout better with the right music?

My current personal favourites for jump starting my morning include Michael Buble’s “Feeling Good”, Flo Rida’s “Good Feeling, Drake’s “Up All Night”, Drake’s “Headlines”, Edward Elgar’s “Cello Concerto in E Minor Op. 85”, The Wanted’s “Chasing the Sun”, Chamillionaire’s “The Ultimate Victory”, David Guetta’s “Turn Me On” and Flo Rida’s “Wild Ones”.

All the songs need to do is pick up your spirits, add some fuel to your fire, make you feel like a God Damn Champion, and the right music can. You will find that over time certain songs will start to lose their power, that’s when you update the playlist. Actually, don’t ever stop updating it. Delete songs, add songs, change the order… Keep it moving. “Up All Night” lost its power for a a few months, but now I love it again. It happens, we just need to take a break for that certain beat.

So please go ahead and try this, and you might be surprised and the range of music that can “Turn You On” in the morning and set you off on a great start to live out great day. Life is lived one day at a time, so make sure you try your best each day and through that, you will carve out your best life.

Have a great day,

Listen to some great, inspiring, motivating music,

Straight From The Heart.

Friendship

Good afternoon everyone. How are you guys feeling today? I took a “partial day off”. Slept at about 1am after having a great talking session with a friend, I really enjoyed it. He/she really knows how to listen and understands & relates to certain things that I’ve been through. So yea, I planned to wake up at 10:30am but my body told me to get up at 9am, so my sleep-wake cycle is back! Had a great breakfast, But it was such a nice cool morning, and I’ve been feeling jaded over the past few days that I decided to go back to sleep at 11:30am…. And took a 3 hour nap. 🙂

So now, it’s about 4:30 in the afternoon, I’m chilling at Starbucks Jaya One (where I just won a free drink! Lucky customer! Woo. Today I realised that I’ve been to Starbucks 24 times in the last month. :/) and I’m blogging, I’m accompanied by warren who’s studying and my Café Mocha (as is the standard MO).

So it’s the middle of week, half way through to the weekend, just keep doing your best work, you’re almost to the end of the week. It’s startling how fast the week passes by, many of us forget to actually live and go on autopilot. I did that for more than a year, trying to make sure that doesn’t happen again.

Anyway, I feel like I’m rambling, So to the point, today I’m going to talk about friendship.

I value my friends very much, the ones who i really care for (old and new) are the ones who have always been there for me, and vice versa. They are so close to me that the distinction between family and friend starts becoming irrelevant. Most of these guys are so close to me that they are family,coming and going from my house as the please, they aren’t regarded as guests in my house. If they want a glass of water they go take it, I’m not getting it for them 🙂

And yes, I know not all friendships last forever, but I try to make them as meaningful as possible.i enjoy having deep conversations, conversations that go beyond the superficial and I believe this is the basis of a great friendship that will last, because even if you don’t see each other for a while, when you do meet up, it’ll be as though there was never a gap. Half of my A-Team is overseas, but when they get back, we’ll just Press Play. I skyped with a few of great friends from MUWCI a couple weeks back (not in a group session, individual sessions) and even though we hadn’t talked in over a year, it felt great, I still felt close to them, It was absolutely wonderful to see their faces, even though it was over a screen, it was great to see them and catch up. Another great friend of mine is coming back soon, haven’t seen him in months. Sorry, back to the point, why am I talking about friendship, because over the past few weeks I’ve made a lot more friends, and I’ve been developing those relationship, we’re getting closer, I’m getting to know them better and it’s no longer just a simple superficial relationship, there’s depth to it. Last night I spend four hours with someone who I didn’t even know a couple month back, but now I know we’re tight, it was an amazing conversation yesterday. We’ll see how things go with regards to permanent membership of my inner circle.

I value the members of my inner circle very much, these are the people that I hope to have in my life for a very long time. I want my kids to refer to them as aunty/uncle and their kids to do the same with me. I want our kids to think of each other as siblings, I want us to be a non-blood related family. May sound weird to many of you, but that’s what I want, and no, I’m not saying that I’m excluding my blood relatives from this, I’m just focusing on friends in this post.

And yes I know that there will be friends that will drift away, I’ll deal with that, but the ones that really matter will always be in my life or at least I hope so 🙂

I’m sorry that I didn’t write a “proper” piece today, my minds a little scattered, still on “Day Off” mode. Haha. Anyway, have a good day, love your family and your friends, and make sure they know it. 🙂

Straight From The Heart
Arkay6

Look Through the Eyes of Understanding

Good Morning Dear readers 🙂

Thank you for joining on this Monday morning. I wish you the best of luck for the work week. Todays blog title is something I picked up from Robin Sharma.

So last week I had a great conversation with a few of my friends, put that together with what
I’ve been observing about people and the books I’ve been reading, and you know what I realised?

So few of us truly listen to the person that is talking to us. We are more interested in Advising, correcting and giving our own opinion than actually listening to what the person on the opposite side of the table is telling us. Communication between people is not only restricted to what the person is saying through his/her words but also via their body language, their intonation and eyes. So many of us ‘word hear’ and not truly listen to the depth of what’s being spoken.

Last week during the great conversation with my friends, I looked into their eyes and was taken in by the depth of emotion that I saw, the meaning and the pain, the joy and the happiness. The eyes are just so expressive as someone is talking. So the next time you are talking to someone, look them in the eyes, yes you can still hear them and know what their words mean even as you look at your phone but you won’t realise the depth and meaning that lies behind the words… That you not only hear through the words but they way the words are put together, the intonation of the words and most importantly, the body language as the person speaks and the emotions of the eyes.

They eyes are truly the mirror to the soul.

So many of us want to talk, we want to be heard, but when everyone acts like this, you know what happens? No one listens which means that no one is heard, and that means that all we’re essentially doing is adding to the noise. When someone is talking to you, listen to them, don’t think about your reply, don’t judge. I’m not saying that I’m guilt free, but I’ve making an effort, for sometime now, not consistent yes, but definitely a solid effort, and over the years I’ve been told by some friends that I’m a good listener, and you know what, it makes me feel happy, I’m proud of that, I’m happy that my friends feel comfortable talking to me. And when I need someone to vent to or talk to, they just sit and listen as I rant. Thank you guys. Thank you so much.

Now about venting, when someone is venting, please don’t interrupt, they’re not in the mood to be advised, they just want to get some stuff of their chest. By advising you are indirectly telling them to shut up, that they are wrong, and maybe what they did was wrong, but as my dad says, “time and place.” wait for them to calm down, so that they are in a less defensive stance before you ask them to think about what they just said. Let them vent, let them cool off, you just listen, really listen. Try to identify the real problem behind the venting, but wait until after they are really done before you talk to them, not advise them or critique them or correct them, talk to them. Heart to heart, and if they get defensive and reactive and fight back, don’t do the same, keep calm… Because the minute you react to the reaction, it’s game over. Don’t be like a can of coke when shaken, be like water…. No matter how shaken, it doesn’t fizz over.

Be a bottle of water, not a can of coke. – Sean Covey

Time and Place.

People are sensitive, we don’t like being judged, criticised or being told that we’re wrong, especially in a harsh manner, there is a way to help someone, and it doesn’t start with being judgemental and reactive, always stay calm. When someone reacts badly to something you have said, take a step back, (i know this doesn’t sounds easy, trust me I know, but please try as practice will help you establish this as a habit) and think about why he/she reacted that way, don’t get angry, don’t get frustrated…be calm, be patient and ask, why are they reacting in such a manner, maybe they’re tired or stressed, give them some time, they’ll appreciate it. I mean, that is what I would appreciate, and I think this applies to many other people out there. When someone gets angry, take a step back, push pause and try to get to the real problem, don’t pry, don’t pressure, just be there for the person, they’ll eventually open up. It’s my personal policy never to pressure anyone to tell me something, they’ll tell me when they are ready and until then, I’ll be there for them in whatever capacity they want, as much as I can.

‘LISTEN’
When I ask you to listen to me And you start giving me advice, You have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you begin to tell me ‘why’ I shouldn’t feel that way, You are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you feel you have to do something to solve my problems,
You have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen; Not talk, nor do – just hear me.
And I can do for myself – I’m not helpless
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me, that I can and need to do for myself,
You contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, No matter how irrational
Then I quit trying to convince you
And can get about the business of understanding
What’s behind this irrational feeling.
When that’s clear,
The answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we Understand what’s behind them.
Perhaps that’s why prayer works sometimes for some people;
because God is mute, and doesn’t give
advice to try to ‘fix’ things,
He/She just listens, and lets you work it out for yourself.
So please listen, and just hear me, and if you want to talk,
Wait a minute for your turn,
And I’ll listen to you.
Anon

So remember guys, listen, really listen to the people in you life. It won’t be easy, but it’ll get easier each day and eventfully we’ll achieve amazing communication. There’s more to listening than just hearing. A lot of problems could be solved and avoided, especially those between men and women in relationships 🙂

Seek First to understand, then to be understood. – Stephen Covey

Have a great day guys,

I hope that I didn’t step on anyone’s toes with this piece, if I did, I’m really sorry.

Straight From The Heart,

Arkay6

Keep Moving Foward

Decisions, decisions.

Good Morning dear readers! 🙂 how are you guys doing today? The last day of the work week for most. I’m feeling a lot better after my Day Off, and today I’ve got work! So I’m chilling at Starbucks now with my good friend Café Mocha, and today we’re going to address the dilemma that is making a decision. This pot is dedicated to one of my friends, he/she spurred this idea in my head a couple days back.

Decisions, decisions… There are so many choices in life now, which means there are so many more decisions to make. Some are vital, others not so. But every decision you make in your life should be yours. Not what someone else has told you to do.

As Bon Jovi said, “it’s my life.”

Asking others to make a decision for you is to excuse yourself from taking accountability and responsibility for the decision. You are putting your life in someone else’s hands. Does that sound right to you?

Act on life, don’t let life act on you.

But so many don’t want to make decision because they actually don’t know what they want from life. They haven’t really thought about it. And this is where I come to a very important point, Make the time to think. It will help you get clear on what you want and as Robin Sharma says, “Clarity Breeds Success.” Go and set up A Room of One’s Own

By getting clear on what you want out of life, you’ll heighten awareness around what’s most important. With better awareness comes better choices. And with better choices you’ll see better results. Robin Sharma

Take out your journal and write, just pour out your thoughts. Dump your worries so that you can unclutter your mind, make some room to think and make decisions. Enact Ghost Protocol, take some time on Saturday morning to do some reflecting on your life (Saturday Morning Reflections) (Saturday should have been morning reflections), face the fears you’ve been running from (Facing Fears = Power), and whatever happens, Keep Moving Forward and remember that Small Daily Improvements will Lead to a stunning Results

And don’t say you don’t have time to think, cut out some tv time, because too many of us watch too much tv.

We want someone else to make the decision so that if things go wrong, you can say, “It’s not my fault, I didn’t even want to do this, it wasn’t my idea.” but you know what, blaming others is only excusing yourself. Take responsibility for your own life, make YOUR own decisions, and whether your fail or fly, to will be because of no one but you. I’m not saying don’t ask for advise, by all means consult others, I do it all the time, but the final decision should be yours.

And if all else fails, then ask the Steve Jobs question. I know it’s not completely practical, but I can definitely help in some situations. It help Steve , meet his wife.

If today were your last day, would you do what you are about to do today? Steve Jobs

And remember,

“Success doesn’t just occur, it’s a project that is worked on each day.” Robin Sharma

You’re going to make mistakes in your life, so why not make sure their actually YOUR mistakes, so that at the end of your life you can say, ” I lived MY life, not his or hers or yours or their, I lived my life.” be responsible for your life. Take accountability for your life.

And you know what, not only will Jon Bon Jovi be proud, you’ll be proud of yourself.

Straight From The Heart,

Arkay6

Taking the Day Off

Good morning guys, this is gonna be short.

I’m going to take the day off today, in line with my post about strategic refuelling. I’ve feeling a little tired today, so I’m going to rest up. No swimming. Did a few errands. Gonna watch some tv, get a massage, do a little reading, and finish up the My re-read of The Greatness Guide, and spend Tom with the family.

Have a great day guys, and don’t forget to take a day off to rest up.

On another note, I still woke up at 7 even though I slept after 12am, and without an alarm to wake me. Good sign, making good progress with regards to my sleep-wake cycle.

Cheers guys, have a great day

Straight From The Heart,

Arkay 6

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Why is Materialism a dirty word?

Good Morning all!
Feeling really good this morning, managed to achieve a few small goals of mine this morning and that has pumped me up. Woke up at 6, had my holy hour, swam for a bit, and was in Monash by 8. Grabbed a Café Mocha from a barista who has just more back from a break, really friendly guy, made a mistake with my billing and took accountability and responsibility for it, how many of us do that nowadays? Anyway, that’s a topic for another day.

So I was thinking this morning, while using the Bose QC15, and thought, what’s wrong with materialism?

So yea, today I’m going to write about Materialism.

Now I know there are many definitions of materialism, so for the sake of clarity, this is what I’m referring to: the love and pursuit for material possessions.

Now I have absolutely nothing against materialism, he’ll I’m majorly guilty of it. I love my toys, my gadgets, my things, but not as much as I love my family and that’s the most important thing when it comes to materialism. Go ahead, get the car you love, buy that gadget you want, treasure them, but never, in any circumstance let an object come between you and your family and team.

I think this passage by Robin Sharma will best illustrate what I’m trying to say:

“Contrary to popular belief, The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari isn’t a manifesto against making money and enjoying the good life. My main message there was simply “remember what’s most important to leading a great life.” drive a BMW, wear Prada, stay at the Four Seasons and make a ton of money if these are the things that make you happy. Life is certainly full of material pleasures that really do make the journey more delightful. No need to feel guilty about enjoying them. But please don’t forget about those basic but beautiful treasures to be loved along the way. Like deep human connections, realising your best through fulfilling work, exploring the arts and experiencing the glory of nature.”

I love my Apple products, my Ray Bans, my Starbucks Café Mocha, my (not really mine yet) Giselle, my beautiful posters, my shoes, my Polo Tees, my suit and etc. And I will not feel guilty for having them.

One day I want to have a beautiful house, a Mercedes SLS AMG and a Rolls Royce Phantom. I want to either have my own firm/company, run my own media empire or be a World Class Success Coach like Robin Sharma, or all of the above. I want to go on great vacations and stay at beautiful hotels. I want to be able to send my kids to whatever schools that will give them the best education and I want my wife to have the option of not working yet being able to live the her dream life as well. I want to have nice suits, a wardrobe of Ralph Lauren Polos, a membership at KLGCC, and an Eco friendly private jet. I want to play golf with top business people and top politicians on a regular basis. I want to be able to deck my house in whatever gadgets I want, to host glamorous parties yet be able to support my community, raise the standard of living and help those who need help to get to a level where they can help themselves. And no, I do not feel guilty for having these dreams.

I want a a lot of things, but nothing will ever be more important than my family and my team, than my future wife, than my future kids. I will do my best to achieve my material dreams, but my top priorities will always be the same, be the best son I can be, the best husband and most importantly, be the best god damn dad in the whole damn world, because nothing, and I repeat nothing, is more important than being a parent. And along the way, I’ll do the best I can at work and my career to realise my material dreams.

Yes this may sound may sound naive to some of you, it may sound farfetched to others, some may think that I’m being arrogant, and others may think that I’m not being a realist. But hey, this is what I’m going to aim for, and if I do not achieve it, I’ll deal with it. One of my heroes, John F. Kennedy once said, “only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly”. And if I’ve learned anything over the past 3 years, is that the biggest obstacle between me and my dreams, is me.

I want to live the good life, which to me means having a great family first, being the person i wish to be and being able to afford and sustain having lots of toys.

“only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” JFK

But I digress, remember that it is you who owns the object and not the object that owns you and your pursuit of material objects will be balanced and healthy.
Be wise, be smart, dream big and prepare for the worst.

Have a great day,

Straight From The Heart,

Arkay 6

Would you mind? (following my blog)

Good Morning again all, I know it’s a busy Monday but if you have the time please follow my blog via email,

On the right side of the site you will see a follow option. Put in you email an click follow.

Then Go to the emails account that you entered. An email will be sent To it to confirm your subscription. Click on the email and confirm the subscription and that should be all.

I would so very appreciate it,

Thanks

Straight From The Heart

Arkay 6

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