Friendship

Good afternoon everyone. How are you guys feeling today? I took a “partial day off”. Slept at about 1am after having a great talking session with a friend, I really enjoyed it. He/she really knows how to listen and understands & relates to certain things that I’ve been through. So yea, I planned to wake up at 10:30am but my body told me to get up at 9am, so my sleep-wake cycle is back! Had a great breakfast, But it was such a nice cool morning, and I’ve been feeling jaded over the past few days that I decided to go back to sleep at 11:30am…. And took a 3 hour nap. 🙂

So now, it’s about 4:30 in the afternoon, I’m chilling at Starbucks Jaya One (where I just won a free drink! Lucky customer! Woo. Today I realised that I’ve been to Starbucks 24 times in the last month. :/) and I’m blogging, I’m accompanied by warren who’s studying and my Café Mocha (as is the standard MO).

So it’s the middle of week, half way through to the weekend, just keep doing your best work, you’re almost to the end of the week. It’s startling how fast the week passes by, many of us forget to actually live and go on autopilot. I did that for more than a year, trying to make sure that doesn’t happen again.

Anyway, I feel like I’m rambling, So to the point, today I’m going to talk about friendship.

I value my friends very much, the ones who i really care for (old and new) are the ones who have always been there for me, and vice versa. They are so close to me that the distinction between family and friend starts becoming irrelevant. Most of these guys are so close to me that they are family,coming and going from my house as the please, they aren’t regarded as guests in my house. If they want a glass of water they go take it, I’m not getting it for them 🙂

And yes, I know not all friendships last forever, but I try to make them as meaningful as possible.i enjoy having deep conversations, conversations that go beyond the superficial and I believe this is the basis of a great friendship that will last, because even if you don’t see each other for a while, when you do meet up, it’ll be as though there was never a gap. Half of my A-Team is overseas, but when they get back, we’ll just Press Play. I skyped with a few of great friends from MUWCI a couple weeks back (not in a group session, individual sessions) and even though we hadn’t talked in over a year, it felt great, I still felt close to them, It was absolutely wonderful to see their faces, even though it was over a screen, it was great to see them and catch up. Another great friend of mine is coming back soon, haven’t seen him in months. Sorry, back to the point, why am I talking about friendship, because over the past few weeks I’ve made a lot more friends, and I’ve been developing those relationship, we’re getting closer, I’m getting to know them better and it’s no longer just a simple superficial relationship, there’s depth to it. Last night I spend four hours with someone who I didn’t even know a couple month back, but now I know we’re tight, it was an amazing conversation yesterday. We’ll see how things go with regards to permanent membership of my inner circle.

I value the members of my inner circle very much, these are the people that I hope to have in my life for a very long time. I want my kids to refer to them as aunty/uncle and their kids to do the same with me. I want our kids to think of each other as siblings, I want us to be a non-blood related family. May sound weird to many of you, but that’s what I want, and no, I’m not saying that I’m excluding my blood relatives from this, I’m just focusing on friends in this post.

And yes I know that there will be friends that will drift away, I’ll deal with that, but the ones that really matter will always be in my life or at least I hope so 🙂

I’m sorry that I didn’t write a “proper” piece today, my minds a little scattered, still on “Day Off” mode. Haha. Anyway, have a good day, love your family and your friends, and make sure they know it. 🙂

Straight From The Heart
Arkay6

Look Through the Eyes of Understanding

Good Morning Dear readers 🙂

Thank you for joining on this Monday morning. I wish you the best of luck for the work week. Todays blog title is something I picked up from Robin Sharma.

So last week I had a great conversation with a few of my friends, put that together with what
I’ve been observing about people and the books I’ve been reading, and you know what I realised?

So few of us truly listen to the person that is talking to us. We are more interested in Advising, correcting and giving our own opinion than actually listening to what the person on the opposite side of the table is telling us. Communication between people is not only restricted to what the person is saying through his/her words but also via their body language, their intonation and eyes. So many of us ‘word hear’ and not truly listen to the depth of what’s being spoken.

Last week during the great conversation with my friends, I looked into their eyes and was taken in by the depth of emotion that I saw, the meaning and the pain, the joy and the happiness. The eyes are just so expressive as someone is talking. So the next time you are talking to someone, look them in the eyes, yes you can still hear them and know what their words mean even as you look at your phone but you won’t realise the depth and meaning that lies behind the words… That you not only hear through the words but they way the words are put together, the intonation of the words and most importantly, the body language as the person speaks and the emotions of the eyes.

They eyes are truly the mirror to the soul.

So many of us want to talk, we want to be heard, but when everyone acts like this, you know what happens? No one listens which means that no one is heard, and that means that all we’re essentially doing is adding to the noise. When someone is talking to you, listen to them, don’t think about your reply, don’t judge. I’m not saying that I’m guilt free, but I’ve making an effort, for sometime now, not consistent yes, but definitely a solid effort, and over the years I’ve been told by some friends that I’m a good listener, and you know what, it makes me feel happy, I’m proud of that, I’m happy that my friends feel comfortable talking to me. And when I need someone to vent to or talk to, they just sit and listen as I rant. Thank you guys. Thank you so much.

Now about venting, when someone is venting, please don’t interrupt, they’re not in the mood to be advised, they just want to get some stuff of their chest. By advising you are indirectly telling them to shut up, that they are wrong, and maybe what they did was wrong, but as my dad says, “time and place.” wait for them to calm down, so that they are in a less defensive stance before you ask them to think about what they just said. Let them vent, let them cool off, you just listen, really listen. Try to identify the real problem behind the venting, but wait until after they are really done before you talk to them, not advise them or critique them or correct them, talk to them. Heart to heart, and if they get defensive and reactive and fight back, don’t do the same, keep calm… Because the minute you react to the reaction, it’s game over. Don’t be like a can of coke when shaken, be like water…. No matter how shaken, it doesn’t fizz over.

Be a bottle of water, not a can of coke. – Sean Covey

Time and Place.

People are sensitive, we don’t like being judged, criticised or being told that we’re wrong, especially in a harsh manner, there is a way to help someone, and it doesn’t start with being judgemental and reactive, always stay calm. When someone reacts badly to something you have said, take a step back, (i know this doesn’t sounds easy, trust me I know, but please try as practice will help you establish this as a habit) and think about why he/she reacted that way, don’t get angry, don’t get frustrated…be calm, be patient and ask, why are they reacting in such a manner, maybe they’re tired or stressed, give them some time, they’ll appreciate it. I mean, that is what I would appreciate, and I think this applies to many other people out there. When someone gets angry, take a step back, push pause and try to get to the real problem, don’t pry, don’t pressure, just be there for the person, they’ll eventually open up. It’s my personal policy never to pressure anyone to tell me something, they’ll tell me when they are ready and until then, I’ll be there for them in whatever capacity they want, as much as I can.

‘LISTEN’
When I ask you to listen to me And you start giving me advice, You have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you begin to tell me ‘why’ I shouldn’t feel that way, You are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you feel you have to do something to solve my problems,
You have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen; Not talk, nor do – just hear me.
And I can do for myself – I’m not helpless
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me, that I can and need to do for myself,
You contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, No matter how irrational
Then I quit trying to convince you
And can get about the business of understanding
What’s behind this irrational feeling.
When that’s clear,
The answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we Understand what’s behind them.
Perhaps that’s why prayer works sometimes for some people;
because God is mute, and doesn’t give
advice to try to ‘fix’ things,
He/She just listens, and lets you work it out for yourself.
So please listen, and just hear me, and if you want to talk,
Wait a minute for your turn,
And I’ll listen to you.
Anon

So remember guys, listen, really listen to the people in you life. It won’t be easy, but it’ll get easier each day and eventfully we’ll achieve amazing communication. There’s more to listening than just hearing. A lot of problems could be solved and avoided, especially those between men and women in relationships 🙂

Seek First to understand, then to be understood. – Stephen Covey

Have a great day guys,

I hope that I didn’t step on anyone’s toes with this piece, if I did, I’m really sorry.

Straight From The Heart,

Arkay6

Keep Moving Foward

Decisions, decisions.

Good Morning dear readers! 🙂 how are you guys doing today? The last day of the work week for most. I’m feeling a lot better after my Day Off, and today I’ve got work! So I’m chilling at Starbucks now with my good friend Café Mocha, and today we’re going to address the dilemma that is making a decision. This pot is dedicated to one of my friends, he/she spurred this idea in my head a couple days back.

Decisions, decisions… There are so many choices in life now, which means there are so many more decisions to make. Some are vital, others not so. But every decision you make in your life should be yours. Not what someone else has told you to do.

As Bon Jovi said, “it’s my life.”

Asking others to make a decision for you is to excuse yourself from taking accountability and responsibility for the decision. You are putting your life in someone else’s hands. Does that sound right to you?

Act on life, don’t let life act on you.

But so many don’t want to make decision because they actually don’t know what they want from life. They haven’t really thought about it. And this is where I come to a very important point, Make the time to think. It will help you get clear on what you want and as Robin Sharma says, “Clarity Breeds Success.” Go and set up A Room of One’s Own

By getting clear on what you want out of life, you’ll heighten awareness around what’s most important. With better awareness comes better choices. And with better choices you’ll see better results. Robin Sharma

Take out your journal and write, just pour out your thoughts. Dump your worries so that you can unclutter your mind, make some room to think and make decisions. Enact Ghost Protocol, take some time on Saturday morning to do some reflecting on your life (Saturday Morning Reflections) (Saturday should have been morning reflections), face the fears you’ve been running from (Facing Fears = Power), and whatever happens, Keep Moving Forward and remember that Small Daily Improvements will Lead to a stunning Results

And don’t say you don’t have time to think, cut out some tv time, because too many of us watch too much tv.

We want someone else to make the decision so that if things go wrong, you can say, “It’s not my fault, I didn’t even want to do this, it wasn’t my idea.” but you know what, blaming others is only excusing yourself. Take responsibility for your own life, make YOUR own decisions, and whether your fail or fly, to will be because of no one but you. I’m not saying don’t ask for advise, by all means consult others, I do it all the time, but the final decision should be yours.

And if all else fails, then ask the Steve Jobs question. I know it’s not completely practical, but I can definitely help in some situations. It help Steve , meet his wife.

If today were your last day, would you do what you are about to do today? Steve Jobs

And remember,

“Success doesn’t just occur, it’s a project that is worked on each day.” Robin Sharma

You’re going to make mistakes in your life, so why not make sure their actually YOUR mistakes, so that at the end of your life you can say, ” I lived MY life, not his or hers or yours or their, I lived my life.” be responsible for your life. Take accountability for your life.

And you know what, not only will Jon Bon Jovi be proud, you’ll be proud of yourself.

Straight From The Heart,

Arkay6

Taking the Day Off

Good morning guys, this is gonna be short.

I’m going to take the day off today, in line with my post about strategic refuelling. I’ve feeling a little tired today, so I’m going to rest up. No swimming. Did a few errands. Gonna watch some tv, get a massage, do a little reading, and finish up the My re-read of The Greatness Guide, and spend Tom with the family.

Have a great day guys, and don’t forget to take a day off to rest up.

On another note, I still woke up at 7 even though I slept after 12am, and without an alarm to wake me. Good sign, making good progress with regards to my sleep-wake cycle.

Cheers guys, have a great day

Straight From The Heart,

Arkay 6

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Why is Materialism a dirty word?

Good Morning all!
Feeling really good this morning, managed to achieve a few small goals of mine this morning and that has pumped me up. Woke up at 6, had my holy hour, swam for a bit, and was in Monash by 8. Grabbed a Café Mocha from a barista who has just more back from a break, really friendly guy, made a mistake with my billing and took accountability and responsibility for it, how many of us do that nowadays? Anyway, that’s a topic for another day.

So I was thinking this morning, while using the Bose QC15, and thought, what’s wrong with materialism?

So yea, today I’m going to write about Materialism.

Now I know there are many definitions of materialism, so for the sake of clarity, this is what I’m referring to: the love and pursuit for material possessions.

Now I have absolutely nothing against materialism, he’ll I’m majorly guilty of it. I love my toys, my gadgets, my things, but not as much as I love my family and that’s the most important thing when it comes to materialism. Go ahead, get the car you love, buy that gadget you want, treasure them, but never, in any circumstance let an object come between you and your family and team.

I think this passage by Robin Sharma will best illustrate what I’m trying to say:

“Contrary to popular belief, The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari isn’t a manifesto against making money and enjoying the good life. My main message there was simply “remember what’s most important to leading a great life.” drive a BMW, wear Prada, stay at the Four Seasons and make a ton of money if these are the things that make you happy. Life is certainly full of material pleasures that really do make the journey more delightful. No need to feel guilty about enjoying them. But please don’t forget about those basic but beautiful treasures to be loved along the way. Like deep human connections, realising your best through fulfilling work, exploring the arts and experiencing the glory of nature.”

I love my Apple products, my Ray Bans, my Starbucks Café Mocha, my (not really mine yet) Giselle, my beautiful posters, my shoes, my Polo Tees, my suit and etc. And I will not feel guilty for having them.

One day I want to have a beautiful house, a Mercedes SLS AMG and a Rolls Royce Phantom. I want to either have my own firm/company, run my own media empire or be a World Class Success Coach like Robin Sharma, or all of the above. I want to go on great vacations and stay at beautiful hotels. I want to be able to send my kids to whatever schools that will give them the best education and I want my wife to have the option of not working yet being able to live the her dream life as well. I want to have nice suits, a wardrobe of Ralph Lauren Polos, a membership at KLGCC, and an Eco friendly private jet. I want to play golf with top business people and top politicians on a regular basis. I want to be able to deck my house in whatever gadgets I want, to host glamorous parties yet be able to support my community, raise the standard of living and help those who need help to get to a level where they can help themselves. And no, I do not feel guilty for having these dreams.

I want a a lot of things, but nothing will ever be more important than my family and my team, than my future wife, than my future kids. I will do my best to achieve my material dreams, but my top priorities will always be the same, be the best son I can be, the best husband and most importantly, be the best god damn dad in the whole damn world, because nothing, and I repeat nothing, is more important than being a parent. And along the way, I’ll do the best I can at work and my career to realise my material dreams.

Yes this may sound may sound naive to some of you, it may sound farfetched to others, some may think that I’m being arrogant, and others may think that I’m not being a realist. But hey, this is what I’m going to aim for, and if I do not achieve it, I’ll deal with it. One of my heroes, John F. Kennedy once said, “only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly”. And if I’ve learned anything over the past 3 years, is that the biggest obstacle between me and my dreams, is me.

I want to live the good life, which to me means having a great family first, being the person i wish to be and being able to afford and sustain having lots of toys.

“only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” JFK

But I digress, remember that it is you who owns the object and not the object that owns you and your pursuit of material objects will be balanced and healthy.
Be wise, be smart, dream big and prepare for the worst.

Have a great day,

Straight From The Heart,

Arkay 6

Would you mind? (following my blog)

Good Morning again all, I know it’s a busy Monday but if you have the time please follow my blog via email,

On the right side of the site you will see a follow option. Put in you email an click follow.

Then Go to the emails account that you entered. An email will be sent To it to confirm your subscription. Click on the email and confirm the subscription and that should be all.

I would so very appreciate it,

Thanks

Straight From The Heart

Arkay 6

Of Conversations & Story Telling

Good Morning 🙂

I hope everyone is doing ok after the weekend. Yes it’s Monday and the start of another work week, but remember, you are in charge of how you feel. It’s hard, but try to be positive this manic Monday.

I’m not working today, worked the past three days at Machines. I’m loving the job but my legs might not feel the same way, feeling pretty tired today, woke up at 8 and didn’t go for a swim. Yea, but I’ll do it tomorrow! Well, now my good friend Cafe Mocha is keeping me company here at Starbucks as I think of something to write about today 😉

I got it, today I’m going to write about reading.

I know a lot of you are going to be, “but I got no time to read” or “I don’t like reading” or whatever other excuses there are. Whether your want to read is up to you (unless you’re my little brother) but the benefits are very much underrated. I would like you to check out the quote below please,

“a mind once stretched by a new idea can never return to its original dimensions.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

Think about it for a second. I love watching tv but really, after a while I start thinking to myself, ” how does this benefit me?”. Sure a little tv a day helps me unwind, but really, do we stop at an hour? Reading a good book, or a good magazine exposes us to ideas and stimulates our minds. Reading a good biography is like having a conversation with the author. And we all need such conversations to keep out minds sharp.

“Drink Coffee with Gandhi.” Robin Sharma

“Reading a book by someone you respect allows some of their brilliance to rub off on you.” Robin Sharma

One of the main factors in my tremendous recovery over the past few weeks has been reading. My in depth conversation David Schwartz about The Magic of Thinking Big revitalised my spirit and further conversations with Robin Sharma and Richard Branson further fuelled my spirit. They have exposed me to so many new concepts and ideas that have opened my mind up. They have been the main inspiration behind a lot of my articles.

My Top List of books to read
1. 7 habits of highly effective teens – Seaon Covey
2. Screw it Let’s do it Expanded – Richard Branson
3. Tuesday with Morrie
4. the Greatness Guide 1 & 2 – Robin Sharma
5. The Magic of Thinking Big – David Schawrtz
6. Your Money Ratios- Charles Farrell

And when it comes to reading, I have nothing against story books, but try to mix it up with good books that will help you grow. Autobiographies. Personal development books. Etc. of course there are story books that help you grow as well, by all means go for it, but don’t forget to make time to have a conversation with someone like Gandhi or Martin Luther King or Richard Branson. And by all means mix it up with having JK Rowling or Rick Riordan tell you a story, because having conversations with only certain people will add a certain monotony after a while.

So anyway, go and start that book you’ve been procrastinating about. Don’t start any new tv shows! And hey, if you’ve got nothing on your book shelf, take a look at my list above.

Have a great day,

Straight From The Heart

Arkay6

I Will Keep Moving Foward

Good morning everyone! My Cafe Mocha and I are coming to you live from Starbucks Mid Valley.

It’s an interesting scene here, never been to MV this early…. Ever. I’m sitting outside and just observing all the people walking about, the people chilling at Starbucks. Most of them being working people, actually, I think all of them, and I will somewhat be one of them.

I’m doing good today, it could be better, not feeling as great as the last few days. Feeling a little more tired actually, no its not because of the job, I’m nervous yes, a little scared but also excited. It’s a whole jumble of feelings, like now I’m feeling all calm and cool. It’s just this university issue that’s been hanging over me. When I was really sick, like down in the dumps, wanting to give up, feeling like shit, which was in January, I had to drop out of summer school and unfortunately I couldn’t do it cleanly, it was either fail the course or defer the exam, so I deferred the exam but I lost the 30% of the course as that part is course work etc and I didn’t do any of that work, i wasn’t in any shape to. I went for about 3-4 weeks, but I couldn’t think, my mind was so clouded due to the damn brain fog, etc so yea, it was hell, now I’m trying to sort that out because it’s an important subject and will impact my entire major. So it’s stressing me out a little, I’m just worried that this sort of stress would screw up all the progress ive made in the past 5 weeks, that the stress of sitting for an exam in August about a difficult subject that has had some changes this semester would be detrimental, i know i’ll Be ready for uni again in july, but Not for an exam, and the stress that comes with it, that soon after re-starting. But whatever happens, i’ll deal with it, if I have to delay my education a little longer, so be it, but I want that Major in Accounting. Anyway, I can’t do anything about it now, we’ll see how things go. May the Force Be With Me.

I really hope that didn’t put a damper in your morning, me venting like that. It’s just a little coincidental that the day after I get this news about uni that I wake up more tired than usual etc. but if I’ve learnt anything over the past few weeks, actually the past few years, is that it’s not about what happens to you in life, it’s about what you do about it.

I won’t let this be a damper on my Second Coming, on my rekindled spirit and this revival of mine. I will stay strong , I will keep writing, keep reading, keep waking early, keep drinking Cafe Mocha, keep swimming and keep moving forward.

Turbulence is normal. Just fight though it.

I will Keep Moving Forward, one step at a time, no matter what.

Straight From The Heart

Arkay 6

Facing Fears = Power

Good morning everyone,

For a change I’m writing from the Starbucks at Gardens, but still with my cafe mocha. 🙂

Today is a big day for me, I hope it all goes well.

On that note, I want to talk about the power that you get once you face your fears, once you’ve completed that task that you have been resisting. I’m actually pretty scared now, I’m going for a job interview after this, to get a sales position at Machines, hopefully Machines Gardens. I’m scared because I have never done this before, this is new to me. Have never had a real job before. Thoughts have been popping into my head. “what If I can’t do it?” “what of I don’t get it?” “do I really want it?””I can still cancel” “I don’t have to do it” bla bla bla.

But you know what, I want this job, It is a step in the right direction, I want to learn how an apple reseller works, so that maybe i can have my own franchise one day, I want to sell Apple products because I am passionate about them, I want the experience as i want to continue to grow but most importantly, I want to move forward. It’s been a great productive 5 weeks, and I want to continue that flow. I’ve been writing, reading, sleeping well, exercising, dabbled in investing, meeting people etc. I think I’ve mentioned before, this feels like my second coming.

All those questions and doubts, were coming from a place of fear, fear of failure, fear of the unknown. And I will face that fear because once its done…. It will give me power and confidence.

For example, yesterday I finally met a lecturer that I’ve been meaning to meet for a while, I put it off for so long cause I was scared, intimidated, worried etc etc. I was afraid I would mess up the meeting, but finally, yesterday, i just did it. I took the elevator up and met her and you know what? It was a great meeting. She has pointed me in the right direction to sort out my issues reading my Accounting Major and I have a meeting with the Director of Undergraduate Studies today. Hopefully she will be able to help me solve my problem. I’ve been procrastinating for so long simply because I didn’t want to face the fear of not being able to pursue Accounting, or having to delay my graduation by another semester and all those things. The phrase “Ignorance is Bliss” comes to mind, but ignoring the problems isn’t going to make them go away. No. That require conscious effort. Sometimes we run away from our fears so that we can pretend they’re not there, I sorry, but it’s time to wake up.

“I know of no more encouraging fact than th unquestionable ability of a human being to elevate their life by conscious endeavour.” Henry David Thoreau

So today, I’ve got two big steps to take, my first real job interview and a meeting at university. Both are big steps. And I am scared, but I’m not going to run away from this challenge. I will face it

And whatever happens, I will face that as well. If I don’t get the job so be it. If the meeting doesn’t go well I’ll extend my studies by another semester because failure is inevitable in the journey of life, you just have to make sure that the failure doesn’t stop you from moving forward. I’ve had enough of being scared, how about you?

“Fail Faster. Succeed sooner.” David Kelley

“Screw-ups are the mark of excellence.” Tom Peters

“twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do that by he ones you did.” mark twain

“the real risk lies in risked living.” robin sharma

Straight From The Heart

Arkay 6

Dreamers & Realists

“There are dreamers and there are realists in this world.

You’d think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists but… more often than not, the opposite is true.

You see the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun.

And the realists… well, without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground.”

-Cameron, Modern Family (Episode: Punkin Chunkin)

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