Post-Op

Feeling VERY self-conscious about this post, not sure whether to post it or not. I’m worried about how it’ll come off… then again I post for myself, this being a platform for my thoughts & all…
Screw it, enough self-doubt, let’s get started.

AVSD: Atrioventricular Septal Defect possibly courtesy of Holt Syndrome. 
In my case the AVSD entailed a hole in the septal wall between the ventricles of my heart alongside damaged valves that were leaking and an SA Node (natural pacemaker) that wasn’t working as well as it should have been, although I’m not entirely sure if that’s part of the AVSD, Holt Syndrome or something else. 
Thankfully the surgery, at the Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne, patched up the hole & reduced the valve leakage, drastically improving my quality of life going forward. The dysfunctional SA Node was left as is and only addressed in December 2005, when it was necessary, with a pacemaker. That’s when I became a self-declared cyborg haha 😂
I keep this photo close, to not only remind me how lucky I am but how far I’ve come.
Life could’ve been much, much worse.

What if I couldn’t get the surgery?
What if we didn’t get the help & support we did?

What if my AVSD was worse?
Some of the questions I think about, but don’t want to answer. Simply asking them seems to be enough to make the point.
To be grateful for my life as is, yes it could’ve been much better, but it also could’ve been much worse. 
Plus I like who I am, for the most part anyway haha, and I wouldn’t be who I am without all the… hurdles. AVSD, fibromyalgia & all.
Sure it can get tiring, frustrating & infuriating, but that’s when I take a step back, remind myself that life isn’t a sprint but a marathon & when I’m ready, get back to it (more on this another time).
And that concludes today’s Journal a.k.a. piece of rambling,

#KMF