Journaling @Starbucks – Of Loss & Redemption


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Good Afternoon readers,

It’s been a while since I blogged, my last one was in memory of great man who made an impact on my life, who sadly, is no longer with us. Today i sit down at this very tastefully designed Starbucks in TTDI, sipping on Soy Café Mocha as I mull over the week and reflect.

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Over the last two weeks I have had to deal with the loss of a friend, teacher and mentor. Someone I looked up to and someone I admired. It was not easy but I am dealing with it. Loss is something that will eat you up and chuck you in a corner if you don’t deal with it, you may end up living life in Coma Mode and wasting years because the loss wasn’t dealt with and it created a numbness about life. If you need help, go get it, but don’t let the loss sit and stagnate, don’t procrastinate with regards to dealing with it. Dealing with it doesn’t mean ignoring or forgetting it, it just means accepting the fact that someone you loved or admired or cared for, is no longer around. Take your time dealing with it, but just make it certain that you are in fact trying to deal with it. Take it one step at a time, don’t let it consume you because I’m sure for most of the loved ones who have passed, they would want us to live our life’s and not trap ourselves in the past, or maybe that’s just what I tell myself. I tell myself Mr.D would tell me to keep pushing forward and enjoying life, to appreciate the people you do have and to live life. And I will keep telling myself that.

On a more recent note, during the middle of this week i discovered that I was letting down certain loved ones around me, that I wasn’t acting to the best I could in respect to my relationship with them, that I could be better and that they in fact deserved better. It was quite a slap in the face, a moment of clarity where I saw all the missteps, mistakes and ill actions I was making towards them. They were victims of my lack of patience, my ill-temperament and by extension, of my Fibromyalgia. I spent some time away, alone and in solitude just thinking and became aware of how I had dropped the ball, of how I had neglected certain people and of how I can do better, I can be better & I will be better. They may have forgiven me, but to be honest, I haven’t forgiven myself, every time I think of it it makes me sick, how could I have neglected them and treated the most important people in my life so badly? I’ll tell you why, because I didn’t think about it, I didn’t think about my actions and I didn’t think about them. I took the whole selfishness thing to far, yes it’s good to be selfish but it has to be in moderation, and I forgot about that very important word, moderation.

So hopefully I have dealt with the loss of Mr. D and that, in time, I will redeem myself in my eyes. The people around me deserve better from me and I owe it to myself to be better, simply because it would be such a waste of my abilities if I I didn’t, and I so hate waste.

Here’s to more posts this week, and this is the end of this weeks Journal entry.

Straight From The Heart

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And In the Morning, I’m Making Waffles. Rest In Peace Mr. D



 

I haven’t written in a whole, and to those that were disappointed with the lack in posting, please accept my apology, I am sorry.

I’ve been putting off writing this because I was trying to find the “right” way to write this, but really, no words can truly describe the shock, confusion and sadness. Here it goes.

Last week was a difficult week for me, and many others I know, we lost a good man, a son, a father, a colleague, a friend, a teacher, a mentor.

He is a hero to me, a man who helped me out during tough times, who was understanding and caring. He motivated and inspired. He gave the best damn hugs in the world and had a smile that was infectious.

He helped me see the light when I needed it the most.

He understood, he cared and he helped.

I am very sure that my feelings of him are shared by many others, I only wish that our friendship could’ve been much more.

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When I heard the news, I didn’t believe it, I told my friend not to kid about this and check his sources and told me not to get back to me until after my test… But I couldnt wait and called him an hour later, and it was confirmed, the world lost one of the Good Guys. My dear teacher was no longer with us.

I felt numb, confused and shocked. It wasn’t easy, the day was hard and I can’t imagine what the others closer to him must have been going through.

Mr. D, I will remember you for all that you taught me. The laughter, the motivation and hugs. I will always remember you for the person you encouraged me to be, that I was not relegated to letting my condition to dictate my life. I will remember you for all the good you did and all the smiles you gave us. The dancing, the Music and the pizza.

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Thank you for helping me see that I can be what I always want to be. Thank you Mr. D, thank you so damn much.

Thank you to the organisers of his memorial on Monday, it was beautiful. Heartfelt, spot on and very Mr. D.

My condolences to his family back in Canada. My condolences to his loved ones, friends and colleagues. My condolences to my fellow classmates, seniors and juniors. And my condolences to anyone who knew him. This is a tough time but we will get through, there is a light at the end of this tunnel, you might not see it now, but it is there.

Thank you for reading this blog Mr. D and encouraging me forward. I will make it a point to pay it forward.

Well, I think that’s it, it’s time for me to test some shut eye and… In the morning, I’m making waffles.

Straight From the Heart

 

The letter i wrote to him a few months back.

Journaling @Journal: Keeping the Momentum


Good Afternoon guys,

I’m making a little change to my Sunday Blog, instead of Sunday Reflections i’m changing it now to Journaling @Journal. When journaling one does reflect so I thought it would be a nice change, plus I found this new place that I like and it’s called Journal. I cake here in the middle of the last week, and that’s when I thought about the title of Journaling @Journal and decided to switch Sunday Reflections with it. We’ll see how this goes.

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Anyway, as the title suggests i’m at Journal Publika, with my iPad on my lap and my mocha just in front of me, thinking about the past week and reflecting. On a completely of topic point, I miss my Starbucks mocha, though the mochas at cafes like this are definitely more flavourful, they are so small! I miss my grande that costs me only 1.65 more than the mocha in front of me, but anyway back to my journaling @journal.

This week I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can keep the momentum going, the week before was brilliant, full of exercise and early mornings and I felt great. Over the last week I’ve been feeling a little slower, and I know it’s due to the fact that I’ve had some late mornings, I’ve got to keep my discipline and keeping waking up early while getting enough sleep (I aim for 7/8 hours). I’ve started including a daily hours of academic study, which was really hard to initiate but I got it done by Just starting it, sitting down and reading my text book, yes it was only 30 minutes, but the next day it was easier and I got 45 minutes down and the day after that I did an hour without much fuss, so it’s just about beating gravity and gaining momentum to Keep Moving Forward. Keeping the momentum can be difficult in busty lives but we’ve got to be disciplined and have the will power, after 3 weeks of regular daily exercise, holy hours and studying it’ll be engrained into your daily system and you won’t have to think twice about why you’re doing it, when to do it or what to do…. It’ll be second nature. I just have to keep the momentum going, and the only way to keep it so it through discipline, will power and self control. Easier said than done, but it can be done.

I made a few mistakes the last week, as is the case with every week, but the key is to ensure that it ain’t the same mistakes happening over and over again.

Gotta keep the momentum going, gotta keep the exercise gearing, gotta keep the mornings early and gotta keep the knowledge flowing.

Straight From The Heart

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Time in Nature


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Good Afternoon readers,

I’m sitting in a nice arm chair, with a latte next to me and what was a glass of mocha, at this place called Journal by Plan B (loving this place), in this place called Publika and I love this place. It’s got a really good feel, very open, lots of natural light, great places to eat, chill, caffeinate and booze out. Specifically to Journal, it’s got good coffee, great food and a brilliant environment , feel and ambiance, though I wish the coffees came in bigger sizes, (cough grande cough).

When was the last time you spent some time in nature? I’ve got to tell you it has a great refreshing effect on you, well it did on me. I went for a walk this morning on this Kiara Trail, not the TTDI park, the one closer to KLGCC, and it was really nice. I was there at about 8:30 and the air was cool, crisp and so damn fresh. The sun was just nice and after a while I unplugged my iPhone and just focused on my surroundings. Feeling the air as I breathe it in, felt the cool air move brush passed me, heard the birds chirping/singing and the rustling of the leaves as the wind blew. It was such a calm environment, so damn good for my mind and my soul. The walk wasn’t exactly says, it goes up and down, but I came out not feeling tired, but feeling so damn refreshed.

Nature, do not underestimate its ability for whatever. It keeps us grounded and reminds us of the essence of life.

So spend some time regularly in nature, whether it’s once a week in a park full of trees, or a trail lined with greenery, it all counts. Just talk some time to put it into your day or at least your week. To calm down, to relax, refresh and renew for the next day/week. And hey, what have you got to lose? Go and try it out. A combination of nature and exercise is the ultimate way to start of your day, and keep the music away and focus on the walk, on the flora and the air. And hey, if you don’t love it, then maybe it ain’t your cuppa tea, but please give it a fair shot. Don’t multi task when you’re in nature, this is your ‘Me’ time, don’t use it for anything else but you, out the phone away, put the music away, and leave the distraction at the gate and enjoy the simple things in life, they tend to be able to bring the most amount of joy and pleasure.

Go find a green lung, a waterfall, a forest, a lake, whatever tickles your fancy and spend some time there daily or at least weekly.

Straight From The Heart

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Of Weekends & Renewal


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Good Afternoon dear readers, hope your Friday is going well. I’m currently checking out the Signature Starbucks at One Utama and I have to say that I am impressed. Looks good, feels good and my Soy Café Mocha tastes good. I’m think I’m going to make it a habit to come here once a week.

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Anyway, today is Friday which means the weekend is going to start soon, i’m on a little little vacation, staying overnight at a hotel, (I’ll review it on Monday) and just engaging my self in renewal. And that’s what today’s topic is about Renewal.

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When was the last time you took some time off for yourself. To just get away to renew, recharge and relax, to strip away try noise. this is as important as anything else in your life. We aren’t meant to work all the time and live life in an office. Try and make a habit of taking mini-vacations, they don’t have to be grand or anything like that. They just have to be able to get you away and help you renew your mind and soul. Whether it’s staying at a nice hotel overnight, or taking a weekend trip out of state or hike. It’d got to be something for you, not anyone else, something that appeals to you. Spend some time in nature, pamper yourself to a day spa or hideaway in your favourite quiet cafe and spend 3 hours just to read that book you’ve been wanting to or out on the headphones and listen to seem soothing tunes for an hour or two (if you can try out the Bose QC15) or just go out into nature and be with yourself in its serene, calm & quiet environment and do some thinking.

Do not underestimate the power of renewal, it is not a waste of time. In order for us to reform at our best we have to feel our best, simple as that. it is essential in Getting to Greatness without burning out.

So try and set a few hours every weekend to renew and have some relaxing ‘Me’ time and on top of that try to get away one weekend a month (road trip, stay at a hotel, out-of-state, full fledged day spa). Don’t take my word for it, try it our and see for yourself.

On a side note, I know some may think of sleeping the weekend away as Renewal, but I really wouldn’t recommend that, go ahead and sleep in, but don’t spend more than 9 hours in bed because after that you’re body is going to get into a last and lethargic mood and your renewal time would have been wasted. this is not just a time for physical renewal, but also for your mind and soul. Go ahead and sleep-in, but don’t over do it, go out more living in your life and get some nourishing renewal.

Straight From The Heart

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Sunday Reflections: Keeping the Pace & Exploring


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Greetings from Penang, it’s been a really good week for me. Full of new sights, old sounds, progress and consistency. I’m now at the Starbucks at Straits Quay, and as a regular Starbucks patron, I am very happy to say that the Starbucks at Gurney Tower and here have passed my inspection. This one is a little more busy than the one at Gurney Tower but both are much better than the Starbucks at Queensbay Mall, not the one in borders, the standalone.
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Continuing on from the week before, my exercise has been at the core of this new resurgence in my recovery and journey. Starting the day of with an hour walk with some jogging has had an amazing impact in my life as I gave mentioned in precious posts, but apart from that, I’ve also become more keen on exploring, tying out new things and that jazz. I’ve seen more Penang in Teh last 3 days than I have in the last 22 years, and it’s not the fault of the people around me, but the fact that I wasn’t interested. I couldn’t be bothered, but I tell you this, it has been amazing. Paired with my new habit of taking an ungodly amount of pictures, it been a great trip. The thing I’ve realised is, that because I know like taking pictures, I’m nothing more details. I’m eagerly looking around, and absorbing the beauty around me, whether it’s natural beauty or man-made, whether it’s old street cafes or Starbucks, I’m noticing a lot, and this has added even more colour to my life.

Over the last week I only had two mornings without exercise, one because I was in a rush to catch my flight here and the other because I let go a little, and I spent the whole day (yesterday) in lethargy, the only good thing being that I blogged and spent some time with my family here. Other than that I wasted with a number of hours. Exercise is key to living a great life. I want what Robin Sharma calls, World-Class Physical Fitness; and to me that means no more than 15% body fat, my visceral fat at 5,a good cholesterol level, 85kg and being able to run 10K in not more than an hour, at least that’s what I’ve thought of for now. I want to achieve this by 31st December 2013, giving myself 16 months.

The last week has been great, now time to see how I can make the coming one better.

First off I need to start focusing more academically. Putting in more hours studying, at least an hour a day for class days and at least 90 minutes on non-class days; whether it’s reading the text book, making notes or doing assignments.

Second, I need to schedule more time with family.

Third, I need to get my hour of reading done each day.

These are the three new goals to incorporate into the coming week, with me luck. I’m confident I’ll get it assimilated well, as long as I keep having my morning walks.

Straight from the Heart

Below are some of my Penang pics, if you want to see more check out my Flickr site, should be somewhere on the right side of this page.

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Check out my Flickr account, also under the name Arkay’s Thoughts.

Denting the Universe


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Good Afternoon guys, sitting at a Starbucks in Penang now, with my Café Mocha except today it,a venti, trying some variation out ( Venti 2 normal shots, 1 decaf, 6 pumps chocolate). So far my Penang trip has been amazing, the haze parted ways for my arrival 😉 the botanical gardens is an amazing place to chill and exercise; and i’ve actually been exploring Penang instead of just staying at one place, not that that isn’t fun but we need to try out new things. Checkout my twitter (@arkay6) or my Instagram (@arkaysthoughts) if you would like to take a look at the pictures of my trip so far.

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So to the point of the day, it’s time for Thought of the Week, and today’s thought is simple enough, have you made an impact?

I can tell you this, one of the greatest sources of joy, satisfaction and happiness; one of the greatest feelings you can ever get is when you make a positive impact on somebody else’s life. Whether its a family member, part of your Team, a friend or a random person. I know it may sound bizarre to some out there, but it is true.

Making a positive impact doesn’t mean it has to BIG. it just has to come from the heart, it has to be a genuine act, something Straight From The Heart. It can be as small as helping a kid out with his homework which could be the turning point on his school year, it can be being there for your Friend in dark times and supporting him/her. It can be anything, because everything has an impact, it’s just a matter of scale. Remember, it doesn’t have to be BIG, start of small and then see what happens.

When I first started writing more positively about 3/4 months ago, during my “Second Coming” I got messages from old friends telling about how my writing was helping them, telling me how they could relate and thinking me for it. It was amazing, I felt great, made me feel like I was making a difference, that I wasn’t living in vain. Deep down, we all want to make a difference, but we have this perception that to make a difference it’s got to start of BIG, or they you have to have money to make a true impact, and while that may certainly help you, it doesn’t mean that you can’t make an impact or a difference around you without it.

Anyone can make a positive difference, you just got to believe you can, start small (Just Do It), and take it from there. You can start by taking on more responsibility at home, help out to lessen the burden on the other members of the family, that will make an positive impact/difference in their life’s. Be positive around the people around you, it will make an impact by helping to better their moods, when someone is having a bad day, find a way to cheer him/her out, if you’re friend hasn’t celebrated his/her Birthday in a while, plan a surprise Birthday party! Send flowers to someone when you think they need it, yes they will die, but I personally discovered this year that flowers will brighten the mood of the recipient, cheesy… Yes, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.

Steve Jobs and Woz started out from a garage, they didn’t know that that would lead to the most valuable company at the moment, churning out products that make a positive difference in our life’s, My life. Mother Theresa started out with picking up one person before going on to helping out thousands.

But remember, as much as you want to make a positive impact, don’t forget about taking care of yourself, I am a big advocate of ensuring they you can take care of yourself, yes this will help you as well, but don’t get lost trying to save the world that you lose yourself.

Anyone can make a positive difference, it’s just a matter of scale.

Straight From The Heart

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Sunday Reflections – Going In One More Round


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It’s been a great Sunday so far, ventured into Bukit Gasing and pushed myself harder than I have in years and I feel incredibly proud of myself.

Achievement Unlocked.

Over the past week the first thing that I see when I wake up is a poster, and on that poster is a line that does like this:

“Going in one more round when you don’t think you can – that’s what makes all the difference in your life.” Rocky

I’ve been pushing myself over the last week, I’ve been trying new things, I’ve been focusing and most importantly I’ve been exercising. From basic 1.5km walks I pushed on to 3.33km, and then 4.5 km the day after followed by 4.8km and then today 5.6km through Bukit Gasing, which was incredible difficult. I found myself scared many times during the trail, it wasn’t easy and there were times I wanted to give up, but every time I would refocus myself and calm down, take a breather and push forward. I didn’t plan to go into Bukit Gasing, it was a spur of the moment thing during what was intended to be a chilled 5km walk.

I’m glad I did it, I really am. I keep surprising myself and most importantly, I’m showing the Fibromyalgia who’s in charge. I’ve been walking consistently at 8ish, getting myself 8 hours of sleep, I’ve been practicing better sleep hygiene (is it even called that?), I’ve been making it a daily goal to do something new, whether it’s trying a new cafe or going on a new trail, just anything new, and I’ve been feeling good. It hasn’t been all perfect but I’m working on it, and it’s been a good good week.

The greatest thing to happen over the last week is my exercising. It has filled me with energy, confidence and endorphins. It’s come to a point where I look forward to my workouts. I’ve been trying twice a day, and it’s been doing wonders. Of course there are the body aches, and they come with Fibromyalgia fuelled vengeance in the mornings, and the only reason I managed to fight them and get up out of bed is the fact that I wake up to that Rocky quote and also some other reading I’ve been doing, but the main motivation has been the quote. And truly, every time I’ve gone in that extra round when I didn’t think I could make it at first, I think of the quote and I push myself harder, I focus on being positive and I consciously change my thinking from “I don’t think I can” to “just do it”.

Yes I know this sounds cheesy and all that, but it’s truly been an enlightening week, and I’m going to follow through on that this week. I’m going to take a break tomorrow by just doing a 3km run, I’m not going to have a compete rest day because I don’t want to disrupt this momentum, and honestly I don’t want to rest, I actually want to do 6km at least tomorrow, but I’ve got to think and refuel.

Over the next week i’ll push further by focusing on being more responsible at home, focusing on academics and reading, following on from the great week.

Keywords: will power and discipline.

It’s been a great week of moving forward.

Straight From The Heart

Walk the Talk


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I’ve been trying to do one new thing daily and so today, instead of Starbucks, I thought I’d try something different. So here I am, at Artisan Roast Cafe with my flat white. It’s pretty good, but I miss my Café Mocha, should have tried their mocha here instead, I guess that’ll have to be another time. By right now, I can say that this place is a nice chill out place for coffee purist, parking was a pain but I finally got a place. It has a very very different feel from Starbucks. But hey, what’s life if we don’t try out new things.

Today’s post revolves around the old saying, “Actions speak louder than words,” and “walk the talk.”

A lot of us talk a good talk but can we deliver? Are our actions in line with our words? Is our video aligned with your audio, as Robin Sharma says.

This is definitely something to think about, don’t say something if you don’t mean it, don’t make promises you can’t keep. You may say something is important to you, but do you actions follow through on it?

I remember this from one of Robin Sharma books, “your schedule doesn’t lie.” you may say that you family is top priority but do you schedule time to spend with them? You may say exercise is important but have you scheduled down workout sessions for the week?

Remember, anyone can talk a good talk, but not everyone can walk the talk. Listen to what you say regularly and ask yourself, do I really mean this? Do I really do these things? Am I just talking utter BS?

This habit is not beneficial to anyone in the long run, to you and your loved ones. You will hurt yourself and them.

Now one of the biggest enemies of walking the talk is procrastination, people have good intentions but good intentions are just that, intentions, and intentions won’t make a differences to anything or none unless they’re translated into action. The way to fight procrastination, start small , just do it and Keep Moving Forward. There are many decisions to make and things to do, just get cracking.

Do you remember what your new year’s resolution was?
When was the last time you made a promise and then didn’t keep it?

Words mean nothing until they become actions, yes words have the power to stimulate action, but they isn’t always the case as you and I both know.

Most of us (notice that i used ‘us’) are all guilty of these things, so here are a couple things to keep in mind that will help rectify this issue, it’s not an instant fix but it’s definitely the right way to go if you, like me, want to kill this habit/practice.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep, make sure your schedule is inline with your priorities or what you say are your priorities & don’t say something if you don’t mean it, if you’re going to say it, make sure you can do it.

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Hope this helps,

Straight From The Heart

Reflection


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Today’s piece is short, nothing much, feeling a little blocked.

Let’s take a look back at the week. I came back from an Singapore awesome trip, got back to writing & started focusing on my development again. It wasn’t easy getting back to waking up early or sitting down and getting my Holy Hour on or reading daily. I’m not going to beat myself for falling of track, it happens, I’m human. We’re all human,and we’re going to make mistakes and stumble, the important thing is to, as Aaliyah said, pick yourself up and Try Again,Try Again.

Take it a step at a time, and even a 1% improvement is better than no improvement, just Keep Moving Forward.