Those You Love The Most Can Hurt You The Worst.

Good afternoon everyone, sorry about yesterday, but let’s get back on track shall we.

So today I’m feeling better than yesterday, that’s for damn sure, but still not feeling how I felt 2 weeks back, but I’ll get back to it. Right now, I’m going to enjoy my de-caf Café Mocha at the cafe of one of my favourite brands and blog.

My best friends sent me a message this morning;

“Always remember, that the people who love you the most, will hurt you the most.” – – Captain Murdock

And it got me thinking, why? Why do the people who love you the most hurt you the most… Then I figured it out… It’s not about the people who love you the most, it’s about the people that you love the most. Personally I find that the words of the people I love have more weight than the people I don’t love. Their words have more power than the words of others. What they think of me matters more than what others think of me.

Like if my dad told me that I couldn’t get a job ever, that would hurt so much more than if a normal friend told me that, and even less if it was a stranger. Because I want my dad to look at me and think, “hey, that’s someone I can be proud off.” i don’t care nearly as much of what others say compared to the words of the people I care about my family, my A-team, my inner circle and my great friends.

And I think this relates to a lot of us. We want these people to be supportive of us, to not be angry at us, to be proud of us, to respect us, to love us. They have such an extraordinary impact on our lives, on my life.

Last year there was a little misunderstanding that involved my best friend, another friend and myself. It hurt me more that my best friend shouted at me, I really didn’t care (at the moment) about the other guy. I was hurt because I had obviously pissed my best friend off and I didn’t know what I did, his words did more damage simply because he was closer to me.

I really don’t know how to explain it right, but I think you guys get what I’m trying to say, or at least I hope you are.

The people who are closest to you have the power to do the most damage to you, mentally and emotionally.

As I wrote this I can’t help but think of one Don Vito Corleone’s lines, “keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” why I’m I thinking about this line? I really don’t know….
I understand what he’s referring to, but why is my mind trying to link this line with my main blog idea?

I digress, so if there’s anything you take away from today’s piece is that, being loved by someone means that your words have more power, be more responsible with them. Use them to encourage rather than put down, use them to help grow rather than belittle, whether you are a parent, sibling or best friend, watch what you say…. I should watch what I say…. I’m an elder brother, and i guess I haven’t been the best one… Yesterday kind of pointed that out.

I’m not saying don’t be honest, I’m just saying be careful with the words you use. There are great ways of telling the truth without hurting the person involved.

So remember what Uncle Ben said;

With great power, comes great responsibility.”

Straight From The Heart

Yea… Sorry about that

I’m so sorry about my previous post.

we all have our weak moments, live is full of ups and down, and that life isn’t perfect, there is no Perfect life but we can sure as hell make the best of what we’ve got.

So yea, the last few weeks have been great and the post have reflected my progress, but hey, I’m going through a rough day and I’m going to leave the post up. To show that yes, there will be bad days, and yes there will be moments that you feel like utter shit, but you will get through it…I will get through this.

I’m not going to beat myself up for having a bad day, I’ll accept it, do what I need to or can to recover and get back on my feet soon. Today, actually not today but the last few hours have been the worst period of this Storm, but I’ll get through this. I know I will.

I did it before and had 6 great weeks and i’ll do it again and have 8 great weeks.

What is the saying,” it’s darkest before the dawn”.

Well it’s pretty dark now, but I do see the light in the distance… I will continue moving towards it, even if its one step a day, it’s progress in the right direction. If you’re in a dark place too, finds some light and head towards it, the closer you get the less dark it’ll be.

“Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I am the force. I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choise: my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.”
― Elaine Maxwell

Straight From The Heart

Bracing the Storm

Good afternoon readers,

I hope you don’t mind that I’m diverging from the usual mo of blogging in the mo, but it should only be today, but not diverging too much, I’m enjoying my Café Mocha at this new Starbucks. The Café Mocha is ok, but not as good as the one I had at the Centrepoint branch.

On to today’s piece,

Before the last few days I’d been enjoying much progress and smooth sailing. There wasn’t much of the slowness, or the brain fog, or the tiredness or the muscle aches… But I knew they would return, it was only a matter of time. It usually took 2 weeks before these symptoms came back with a bang, but this time around I enjoyed 6 weeks of bliss. 6 great weeks of progress, and smooth sailing. And I’m happy for it. Yes I’m in The Storm now, but I just have to hold on and get through it. Just need to brace myself and not let the pain and tiredness take control. Unlike the time before my spirit has been reignited and I’m willing to fight. Before I would have 2 good weeks and then get hit by The Storm and would give in to it. But not this time.

Yes I’m tired, yes I’m waking up in pain, yes my brain feels clouded and slow, but I’ll fight this time. Life is never going to be all smooth sailings, there will be times you need to brace for impact and other times when times couldn’t be any better. Enjoy it all, learn from it all, experience it all. For it is all part of life.

Yea it’s not easy, but then again all things that are worth it aren’t easy to get, are they? I’d rather die trying to get out of this storm than resign myself to living with it and let it limit me. No. Not again. Never again. I will continue to live or die trying.

So now, I will continue to wake u as early as I can, sleep at a regular time, swim the mornings I don’t feel too tired and keep writing, because this writing helps me and thank you for reading. Hopefully within this week I’ll be able to tell all of you that i made it out of this Storm and will embark on the next part of progress.

One step at a time.

I’ll Keep Moving Forward.

Straight From The Heart

Saturday Morning Reflections

Good Morning folks, how are you guys doing this fine morning?

It’s the end of another week, time to do some reflecting.

This week wasn’t the most productive week in recent times, was a little more tired this week but It was still a good week. I strengthened a relationship with a new friend, woke up early most days, but there is definitely room for improvement. I played more FIFA than I should have, and didn’t have early nights when I should have. So I’ll look at these few things in the coming week. All in all, I guess my body was telling me that it needed a break, as I mentioned yesterday I was expecting a slump sooner and am very happy that it came after 6 weeks and not 2 weeks as was the norm. So I guess reflecting on that, I’ve made huge progress in my fight against Fibromyalgia. Just wish that I didn’t have to skip work to rest up though, but like I mentioned in an earlier post, Strategic Re-Fuelling is essential.

5 things to be grateful for this week.
1. Great friends
2. Days Off
3. My health is getting better

Things that were good during the week
1. Had great conversations with a new friend
2. Had great conversations with not so new friends
3. Didn’t let the slump take over and send me back into a dark state of mind

Things that weren’t as good.
1. Played more FIFA than I should have
2. Didn’t wake up at latest 7 6 days this week
3. Didn’t go to work yesterday and today
4. Felt like utter shit yesterday, today not so bad.

Hopes for the next week
1. Wake up at 6 everyday
2. Swim 6 mornings
3. holy hour every morning
4. Feel better
5. My supplement come in

Evaluations of goals.
I’ve got new goals for June, as for goals for may they were pretty good, just that I didn’t write my crazy ones piece which was disappointing.

Anyway, have a great day 🙂

Straight From The Heart

Down, but Not Out

Good Morning everyone, I really hope you’re having a better morning than me.

I’m not feeling too great today, actually feeling really tired and my mind feels all clouded and cluttered. Could only swim for 8 minutes this morning and getting out of bed at 7 was so hard even though I went to bed before 10 last night.

I’ve been feeling more tired this week, and today is the worst. Feels like one of my normal days during early this year. Tired, in pain, fatigued, clouded. I couldn’t make it to work today. I feel slow, feel like crap, the world has lost a little of it’s colour, but only a little. I’ll bounce back from this soon 🙂

I’ve actually been expecting the for some time, this is the sort of cycle i’ve been going through for the last 2-3 years, but usually it would be a max of 2 good weeks and then I would enter this sort of slump, but this time it took 6 weeks! Which is a great improvement. I could look at this and say, “oh no, why has this got to happen, why do I even try?”, but I won’t. This tired phase will last a couple of days, just my body’s way of asking for a break, plus some of my supplements have finished, so that could be contributing to this.

But anyway, yes I feel like crap, yes my body hurts and yes my heads feels clogged, but the last 6 weeks have been worth it. If I keep this up, maybe the next time will be an 8 week run before the slump kicks in. but whatever it is, I’ve made progress and will continue to make progress. Just need to get through this little slump and get on the next wave. I know I can, I will.

I’m sorry if the post seems a little messy, that how my mind feels right now. But this won’t last long, it won’t stop be Revival. This is just a little speed bump. Just need to get some good rest, wait for my new batch of supplements to come in and in the mean time, I’ll continue to try my best to get up by 7 and go to bed by 10. I hope I can go to work tomorrow.

Of course when you’re on the right path, there are going to be hard times, difficult times, speed bumps, but don’t let that ,stop you. I’m not. Because its not how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. Courtesy of Rocky. Don’t give in. Don’t give up.

And I’m going to Keep Moving Forward

Anyway, that’s all for today folks.
Sorry if this weeks writing has disappointed.

Straight From The Heart

Arkay6

Hurt

Good Morning everyone and a happy Sunday to you! Please enjoy this day, spend time with the family, have some fun and chillax. Unless you’re like me and work Sundays 🙂

A couple days back, I was talking to a friend about hurt. And that got me thinking.

So yea, in life we’re going to get hurt. It’s part and parcel of growing up and living life, and yes it sucks.

No one looks forward to getting hurt, I know. I’ve been physically broken, mentally broken and spiritually broken ever since mid 2009 and along the way, got my heart broken a couple of times… or more. If you’re a regular reader you’ll know that the last few years have been tough and that the last 5/6 weeks have been a Second Coming. Recovering from hurt isn’t easy, not at all, it takes a lot of work, determination and self-belief, and also having people that have your back doesn’t hurt. During the time before my Second Coming, as mentioned above, I was hurt in many ways. I was confused, i was clouded, i thought I had wasted all my potential, I was using them as excuses as to why I couldn’t do things or why I failed or why I shouldn’t try something. I was scared. Fear invaded and took control. I was so damn scared because no one wants to get hurt again.I didn’t know what the definition of happiness was to me.

My health wasn’t great, I stopped believing in myself and my heart had been scarred many times along the way, it was scary to see a doctor because I was afraid they would tell me that something else was wrong, I was scared to believe in myself because I was afraid I would fail again and I was afraid get back into the Game because I had been hurt so many times and didn’t want to experience the sight of the girl I liked walking away with someone else. So you know what, I stopped really trying… Sure I tried a couple of times last year to get out of this funk but every time things got sour I relapsed back behind the shield I built.

I did that for a while a long time, until 6 weeks ago when I went back to India and it seemed like India had decided to give me back the part of me it took back in 2009/2010. It was then that I woke up and saw the life I was living, or the life I wasn’t living. I wasn’t really living life. I was in a coma, sleep-walking thought life, letting it act on me instead of me acting on life…. I stopped putting living in my days…. I was basically as good as dead. I didn’t want to venture, I didn’t want to experience, i didnt want to make mistakes, I didn’t want to love, I didn’t want to learn, I didn’t want to believe in me, all because I was afraid. Why was I afraid, because I got hurting instead of being strong and facing it, I decided to hide.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still scared, but now I’m willing to try, willing to live, willing to learn and willing to love because I know that no matter what happens, I’ll eventfully get through it. The most important lesson I learnt over the past few years is that the only thing between me and getting what I want… is me. The last 6 weeks have been great, I’ve discovered my niche, I’ve learned, I’ve made more relationships, I’ve strengthen old relationships, I’m happy again, and no, it hasn’t been perfect but it feels damn good to be alive. A rekindled spirit.

And yea, I’ll get back into the Game, and yes i’m scared. The memories and emotions of my previous ventures are still very much with me, but I guess i’ll try and learn from them instead of letting them stop me… And you know what, maybe the new-old me will find success in the Game this year, who knows, I certainly don’t… But you know what I do know…. That I will definitely be trying. Because the more I face my fear, the more power I will gain from it.

So please, take it from me, I know I haven’t lived and learned all that much, but please keep moving forward and take small steps daily, because over time these small steps will lead to results. you got to move on in order to live.

“The fears we resist will persist, what we befriend we will transcend.” Robin Sharma

So guys, have a great Sunday, take some time to think about life, what needs to be addressed and how can heal the hurt and move one. It won’t be instant, it won’t be easy but it’ll be worth it.

Straight from the Heart,

Arkay6

Keep Moving Forward

Saturday “Should Have Been Morning” Reflections

Good afternoon dear readers, how’s your Saturday been so far? I slept at 6am and woke up at 11:30 am to the sight of Nazrin staring at me from the room door.
Last night was good, had great a conversation with two of my good friends, a conversation that was deep and meaningful, full of emotion and vulnerability. It was good. I listened, really listened as I looked them in the eyes to truly appreciate the depth of their words, and they reciprocated and listened to me as I poured my heart out. It was really good, a conversion spanning over 3 hours and 3 different locations. Thank you , the both of you. You know who you are.

Anyway, so that’s why I woke up late which is why today’s reflections are a “little” later. Sorry guys.

So it’s Saturday, and you know what that means, Saturday Morning Reflections. So let me take a look at my week, would you like to join me and do this for your own week?

5 things to be grateful for this week.
1. Another week of progress 🙂
2. My doctors who are so supportive
3. A family that always has my back; that make sure I know how proud of me they are.
4. That I’m not alone, going thought struggles in life, that we all have problems.
5. Growing relationships with many people this week, from close friends to new friends, to random strangers.

Other Things that were good during the week
1. Finished my re-read of The Greatness Guide
2. Finally got my iPad casing.
3. Decided that I definitely want the Bose Quiet Comfort 15

Things that weren’t as good.
1. Didn’t achieve one of my main daily achievements this week
2. Didn’t have lunch with mum
3. Didn’t take Bro for our outing

Hopes/Goals for the next week
1. Achieve wake up time of 5:30am
2. Meet more people
3. Further strengthen the new relationships in my life
4. Swim 6 mornings
5. Finish my current book
6. Holy Hour 6 mornings

All in all, I’m very happy with this week, my progress has been contains, though a little slower than the week before, I felt a little more tired this week, hence the day off. But the momentum is building up and my sleep-wake cycle has is on the right track, woke up at 7 on Thursday every though I slept at 12:30. The best part, I woke up naturally, without my alarm.

Anyway have a great Saturday guys and remember, Keep Moving Forward.

Straight From The Heart,
Arkay6

Ghost Protocol

Good Sunday everyone, hope you are all doing good. I’ll be working today. Surrounded by what I love… Apple products.

Now, I’ll be the first to say that I Love my gadgets, my iPhone, my iPad, my MacBook etc. they help me stay organised, help me stay productive and help me unwind. But that doesn’t mean that i should give them my undivided attention. I believe that we need to have gadget time outs, this is related to my thinking time post. Our gadgets are wonderful but they have tendency to interrupt social life and disrupt thinking and /or productive time. When having dinner or a conversation, put the phone away. Whoever is trying to contact you can wait until you’re done with dinner or until the conversation is over. don’t interrupt your Physical contact with another person because you’ve got an iMessage or a FB notification or a tweet.

As my dad always says: “time and place”.

This is especially important for my generation.

Now those who have to stay by their phones for work, set aside a Electronic time out to have some quality bonding with your family and give you your own time. Your family needs it and most important, you’ll need it; To get your best ideas, to think better, to be more productive, to remain sane.

I haven’t perfected this yet, but I am certainly making progress. I hope you will join me in setting aside at least an hour a day, gadget free, for family and then another hour for your own, undisturbed, thinking time…. A Room of One’s Own. A time to go dark, covert; go Ghost Protocol and Black Ops. Go all Ninja.

You own your gadgets, not vice versa.

What better day to start than today? A Sunday.

have a great day,

Straight From The Heart

Arkay 6

Saturday Morning Reflection

Good morning everyone! How are all of you doing?

I had my first day of work yesterday and today is my second, as for my firstly, it was kept swinging from boring to fun, depending on how many customers there were at Machines. I sold 2 iPads, a few covers and a few screen protectors. So not too bad. Though my feet and knees hurt so damn much today and I’m feeling really tired, but I can do this…. Maybe just shorter shifts?

Haha. So today is Saturday and like last Saturday I’m going to do some reflecting. Interesting, my Cafe Mocha is a little off…

5 things to be grateful for this week.
1. I reached 20 followers on my blog
2. I got a job at Machines
3. I bumped into old friends, strengthened current ones and made new ones.
4. My family make sure I knew that they love me
5. It’s been another week of progress. That takes it to 5 weeks now.

Things that were good during the week
I wrote some of my new favourites articles this week, I’m really proud of some of my new ones. I woke up at 6 twice, had a Cafe Mocha everyday, eating to know the Starbucks staff at my normal place and my new place better. I’ve been pointing in the right direction to solve my uni issues. And it’s been a good week on a whole. And I didn’t watch much tv.

Things that weren’t as good.
Well, I could have placed less FIFA I guess, and I haven’t swam since Thursday, I’ve been more tired than usual and I kind of had a little relapse moment on Thursday, which I’m working on, I don’t want that to happen again. I didn’t visit my grandma. And there were to days that I let FIFA delay my sleeping time. I didn’t spend as much time as I should have with my mum and brother.

Hopes for the next week
First of all I hope that next week is better 🙂 I want to work 2-3 days a week and for starters 10-5, yesterday was 10-7 and that has taken quite a toll on my body. I want to make up at 6 every week day and swim. Make more friends at Monash. Keep taking steps forward in my uni issue. Meet up with my best friend more often, experiment with sleeping 7.5 hours, eat healthier, eat dinner earlier, have my morning in ‘Holy Hour’ everyday, especially weekdays and spend more time with my mum and brother.

Evaluations of goals.
So looks like I’m in line with most of my goals, i aimed to gain 15 followers for my blog, and I got 20. Thanks guys 🙂 I’ve been waking up before 8 everyday. Swam 4 times this week. Wrote a piece everyday. Finished 2 books. And is started working. Not too bad a week. 🙂

So now I hope that you will do your own little reflection for the end of this week. It doesn’t have to be complicated and long. Simple is good. Just as long as it means something to you.

I’ve got work in 40.

So here’s Arkay 6 singing off,

Straight From The Heart

Have A Great God Damn Saturday, and if you’re in MV, pop into Machines and say Hi. And I warn you now, No Discounts!

Haha 🙂

I Will Keep Moving Foward

Good morning everyone! My Cafe Mocha and I are coming to you live from Starbucks Mid Valley.

It’s an interesting scene here, never been to MV this early…. Ever. I’m sitting outside and just observing all the people walking about, the people chilling at Starbucks. Most of them being working people, actually, I think all of them, and I will somewhat be one of them.

I’m doing good today, it could be better, not feeling as great as the last few days. Feeling a little more tired actually, no its not because of the job, I’m nervous yes, a little scared but also excited. It’s a whole jumble of feelings, like now I’m feeling all calm and cool. It’s just this university issue that’s been hanging over me. When I was really sick, like down in the dumps, wanting to give up, feeling like shit, which was in January, I had to drop out of summer school and unfortunately I couldn’t do it cleanly, it was either fail the course or defer the exam, so I deferred the exam but I lost the 30% of the course as that part is course work etc and I didn’t do any of that work, i wasn’t in any shape to. I went for about 3-4 weeks, but I couldn’t think, my mind was so clouded due to the damn brain fog, etc so yea, it was hell, now I’m trying to sort that out because it’s an important subject and will impact my entire major. So it’s stressing me out a little, I’m just worried that this sort of stress would screw up all the progress ive made in the past 5 weeks, that the stress of sitting for an exam in August about a difficult subject that has had some changes this semester would be detrimental, i know i’ll Be ready for uni again in july, but Not for an exam, and the stress that comes with it, that soon after re-starting. But whatever happens, i’ll deal with it, if I have to delay my education a little longer, so be it, but I want that Major in Accounting. Anyway, I can’t do anything about it now, we’ll see how things go. May the Force Be With Me.

I really hope that didn’t put a damper in your morning, me venting like that. It’s just a little coincidental that the day after I get this news about uni that I wake up more tired than usual etc. but if I’ve learnt anything over the past few weeks, actually the past few years, is that it’s not about what happens to you in life, it’s about what you do about it.

I won’t let this be a damper on my Second Coming, on my rekindled spirit and this revival of mine. I will stay strong , I will keep writing, keep reading, keep waking early, keep drinking Cafe Mocha, keep swimming and keep moving forward.

Turbulence is normal. Just fight though it.

I will Keep Moving Forward, one step at a time, no matter what.

Straight From The Heart

Arkay 6

Like it? Why not share it.

Like it? Why not share it.

Like it? Why not share it.

Like it? Why not share it.

Like it? Why not share it.

Like it? Why not share it.

Like it? Why not share it.

Like it? Why not share it.

Like it? Why not share it.

Like it? Why not share it.