Wednesday “Should have been Saturday Morning” Reflections

Good Afternoon readers, how are you guys doing? I’m back here at my Third Place, Starbucks Monash. My favourite of them all. Meet the baristas that I haven’t seen in a long time. Used my new Monash parking 🙂 so all in all, goo stuff.

I’d like to apologise for the tardiness of this post,last week says quite… Hectic. So I’ll try my best to pretend that today is last Saturday.

I had a lot a fun last week, but of course there was the side dish of drama and stress all over the place, but we made it out in the end. I’m still recovering from all the dancing. Reflecting on last week I’ve realised that I never want to feel like I’m not appreciated, it’s not a good feeling at all. People need to stop thinking that family will always be there no matter what because this can be abused, it can come to a point that one only goes back to those people you’ve neglected only when you need them, and this is not a healthy relationship. At some point, the people being taken for granted need to stand up for themselves. Why try so hard on people who don’t appreciate you when there at plenty of others who do appreciate you being part of their lives? This is a point that has become increasingly important to me over the past 6 months. I will make the effort to sustain the relationship and grow it, but if there is not reciprocation of this over a while, I’m going to stop wasting my time and effort.

On that note, I’ve also realised that family isn’t defined by blood. Last week 2 of my best friends came for the wedding, the controlled their liquor and behaved well, yes they had fun but they didn’t go bat-shit crazy, and when I told them that I was ok to go ballistic and get drunk, one of them looked at me and said, “Roshan, we have been invited represent the Groom, we will not make him look bad. Most importantly, we are repressing your family, the Kanesan family.” I was so damn touched by this, there was enough alcohol over the four days to flood Penang, but they didn’t act like kids in a candy shop. Thank you guys. That line is still stuck in my head, “we are representing the Kanesan family.”

What else did I learn? Punjabis know how to have fun 🙂 . That Even though i’ve not had the best health in my life, i am so very blessed to have my family and my friends in my life, a bunch of crazy, fun-loving & caring people.

Love you guys,

Thank for tuning in,

Straight From The Heart

Reference Points

Good Morning everyone, as you can see I’m at Starbucks, but not my regular one. Today’s Soy Café Mocha is much better than yesterday’s unfortunately I forgot my tumbler, oh well.

So today, I’m going to write bout reference points. Life is all about that. How you do what you do when you do it is based upon this principle, that we have reference points. The below is an excerpt from one of Robin Sharma’s books. It depicts this principle pretty damn well.

“Lance Armstrong is a great reference point on persistence. My father is a great reference point on integrity. My mother is an excellent reference point on kindness. My kids are superb reference points on what unconditional love an boundless curiosity looks like. Richard Branson is a spectacular reference point on living a full-out life. Madonna is a greet reference point on reinvention. Peter Drucker was a wonderful reference point on the importance of lifelong learning. Nelson Mendela is a brilliant reference point on courage and humanitarianism.” Robin Sharma

Many of us, as we grew up, faced this dilemma, after an exam our parents would say look at the people who scored better while we say, “but look I did better then etc etc.” and on the other hand when I would mention that my friend has this toy or this fancy gadget, they would go the other way and say look a the kids on the street. So yea, how happy you are will definitely depend on what your outlook on life is.

Pick good reference points to drive you to the life you want to have, they don’t have to be people like Mandela, they can be the people in by our life, your mum, your dad, your aunt, your boss. This reference points will help keep you focused on what you want in life, where your want to go and how you want to live. What type of person you want to become. It will shape your look on how your life is, how good it is or how bad it is, it all depends on the reference points you pick.

If you are going through a tough time, read about Lance and maybe he will help you find the strength you need, if you don’t think you’ll be able to achieve your dreams, read about Branson and maybe he will help you clarify your vision and ignite your spirit and self belief. When you find that your little cousin is annoying you, think about your parents and the patience they had raising you.

Reference points are so damn important. And whether you know it or not, have already have them, no it’s whether you are happy with your current reference points. These will set the standards that you will live by. The person you will strive to be, the principles you will live by, the things you will do and most importantly, it will determine your happiness.

Straight From The Heart

Saturday “Should Have Been Morning” Reflections

Good evening everyone,

How’s everyone doing? Today has been really good. I’m in PD right now with some great friends, it’s been great so far 🙂 the drive down was great, I had really fun time driving down. Had some great food at this place in Seremban. The pics should be on Twitter.

So as for reflections, this week has been better, Monday to Wednesday was awesome, Thursday not so awesome and Friday and today have been great. Been getting back to my “good routines”, expect for the swimming in the mornings. Life is looking good, I’ve learnt to let go of things that I can’t control, I’ll do my best and leave the rest to life. That’s all that I can do. All you can do in life is your best. This somehow reminds me of this line

The price of discipline is always better than the pain of regret.

Keep that in mind, it is a very powerful thought.

This week has been filled with the right steps going forward, yes it wasn’t perfect, but the good definitely outweighed the bad. One of my most precious friendships, that was in some trouble, has turned around and it is looking really good. My good friend graduated from Pre-U. I got back to work. Ivy is on the way (3 weeks).

Looking back, I’ve learnt more about friendship, it’s not always easy, and it takes two to tango. There are always two sides to a story. Respect the people around you the same you would want people to respect you. Don’t dish out what you can’t handle and there are things in life that matter and others that don’t. Make sure you know the difference. Please pardon my language but there are things in life that you just got to look and say, “Fuggitt”. You know who and what’s important to you, and that’s all that matters.

Straight From The Heart

Caring Too Much

Good Morning everyone! Today is feeling like a good day, feeling a little tired, but nothing that will trouble me much, woke up without pain and I woke up at 7am. Didn’t go for a swim, that’s the aim for tomorrow. 🙂 feeling pretty damn good this fine morning, looking forward to work at 10, am at Starbucks with my temporary companion Soy Café Mocha.

So I think I can say that I’ve made it out of the Storm, it was a trying two weeks but I made it, and I’m back on track to bring back on track. Haha. Thank you to everyone who supported me and helped me brace the storm and get out of it and I’m sorry to the people I hurt while bracing myself.

Onward to today’s piece.

I am a strong believer than the most important person in one’s life, is oneself. Why? Because if I can’t take care of myself, how can I take care of others? How I can i lead when I can’t even lead myself? How can I help others I care about if I can’t help myself?

I’m not saying don’t care about others, I’m saying that remember that you are equally, if not more, important than the people who love and care for. So make sure you do justice to your life before worrying about others. Now, please don’t take this as my blessing to go become a self obsessed, egomaniac whose entire world revolves around oneself. Just make sure you take are of yourself before you got out of your way to help others. That may work for a while, but in the long run it’s not sustainable and it’s not the way to live your life.

I’m the type of person who cares very much about my family and friends, I empathise withheld they go through, I try my best to really listen to them and I’m there for them to the best of my ability. I can confidently say that I’m a great friend 90% of the time, and if you can find someone from my inner circle who will say otherwise, I will retract that statement. I care very much for my family and friends, and most of them reciprocate, but there are some who I feel take me for granted and this would affect me and stress me, that is until yesterday when a very wise man said to me, “why are you being so stupid? Why let it affect you?”. And that’s when it hit me… I was being stupid, why was I putting so much effort into something what was mostly one way?

“I use to care, now I don’t.” – A Wise Friend

There’s only so much we can do, and once we’ve done our best, all we can do is watch.

“Let one live their life & learn from their mistakes. What we should worry about is making sure, we as a person, keeps on the right track.” – Another Wise Friend

Care for people as much as they care for you, care more if you want but as long as it isn’t counter-productive to you.There are plenty of people in my life who deserve my love and care, and for those who haven’t been doing their part, don’t expect me to call. I’ve had enough.

Straight From The Heart

Saturday Morning Refelctions

Good Morning everyone, I apologise for not being consistent this week, I got distracted and was waking up late and all that jazz. I’m sorry.

It’s the end of another week, and it’s been a good week for friendships but not so good a weeks for my productivity and wallet. I spent way too much money this week, and let my discipline slip. I’m going to e track on track and start waking upon early again. The last week was filled with birthday celebrations and friendships, and I have no regrets about that. I should have just managed my time more wisely. And I have already had my break, it’s time to get back business and run straight at the things I’ve been avoiding.

Sorting some uni stuff.
Waking up at 6am
Swimming.
Eating good.
Having that talk I’ve been thinking about.

I’m actually feeling quite messed up, just watched this movie called Project X and honestly, I didn’t like it, it was fun for a while but then… Anyway, the movie got me thinking about the things that are bothering me, hence the messed up feeling inside, I’m not upset or anything, I just feel messy. Was thinking about the things and people that have been frustrating me, and it is time to address those issues.

I haven’t slept yet, we spent the night celebrating the birthday of a very dear friend of mines. My sister cooked chicken curry, my mum made prathas, my brother baked the cake, another friend brought some good wine, another guy distracted the birthday boy and I bought the balloons, decorated and organised. #win. Hahaha.

So anyway, I’m feeling good now, birds chirping, the sun’s rising, I’m blogging. I can feel the mess becoming less messy. Feeling lighter. Feeling less cluttered. Feeling hopeful and positive that tomorrow will be the start of an awesome week and tang today will be the day I readjust myself. Looking forward to having a Café Mocha at Starbucks. And maybe go for a swim in the evening. Going to finish my current book by Monday night.

Anyway, good night and Good Morning folks, I’m gonna head to bed,everyone one else has either left or is already sleeping. I’m really happy that I decided to get this done before sleeping. I’ll add some more photos later.

Hope you enjoyed my reflection for the week.

Straight From The Heart

Reflections

Sunday “Should Have Been Saturday Morning” Reflections

Good evening guys, I apologise for the tardiness of last weeks reflection.

Looking back at the previous week, reflecting, It could have been better. It wasn’t a very good week. The fibromyalgia was kicking my ass and there were times I felt like I was going insane. Times i thought that i was going to end up the same before. Reminds me of the article I wrote, iClouded.

I’m upset that I didn’t blog as much. I’m disappointed that i didn’t wake up early everyday, followed by a swim. I’m let myself down by not going to work. And most of all, I’m heartbroken for the way I reacted on Thursday with regards to my sister and brother, especially my sister. I am so sorry for the way I acted towards her, she didn’t know what I was going through.

“It’s not what happens to you in life, it’s what you do about it.” W. Mitchell

“whether I fail or succeed that’ll be no man doing but my own. I am the Force.i can clear any obstacle before me or I can get lost in the maze. My choice. My responsibility; win or lose only I hold the key to my destiny.” Elaine Maxwell

It may not have been much of a productive week, as the weeks before, but on the plus side, I did get some good rest and realised that it took 6 weeks for the Storm to kick-in instead of 2. And I have been feeling better over the past 2 days. Should be back in action tomorrow. I did get some reading done. Also, I did have some great fun. Attended the Starbucks Summer Party which was awesome, went to the BSKL British Summer Fair with my friends yesterday and it turned out to be a pretty fun afternoon/evening.

I guess I just needed a break, there was a point I guess when I should have eased off the ‘gas’ a little, maybe I could’ve extended my run to 7/8 weeks, but that’s the next goal. I had a misstep last week, a little stumble, a speed bump, now it’s time to learn from it, pick up whatever I can no Keep Moving Forward. So I guess I’m happy about the previous week, reminded me of humanity, that life, progress and success isn’t a straight full-throttle shot to the top, it’s like climbing up mountains, step at a time, trying not to make mistakes but leanings from them when they do occur. And following on from this, this is why we need to reflect, to ensure that all the hard work we do and sacrifices we make are worth it, that after toiling and climbing, shedding blood, sweat and tears, that we make sure that we are in line with our goals and that we are climbing the right mountain.

“you can’t get to the top of Everest by jumping up the mountain. You get to the mountaintop by taking incremental steps. Steep by step you get to your goal.” Robin Sharma

That’s why we should reflect, because we all want our work and effort to not be in vain. We want to reach our goals and not take a wrong turn along the way, or if we do take a wrong turn to correct out path and get back on track. That’s why we reflect. That’s why we set up a A Room of One’s Own, that why we set aside to think. To not only brainstorm and come up with amazing ideas, but to make sure that after all the bullshit and detours, that we reach the summit of the certain mountain, that you enjoy the moment and not be in disappointment and regret.

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. ~Peter F. Drucker

Straight From The Heart

Those You Love The Most Can Hurt You The Worst.

Good afternoon everyone, sorry about yesterday, but let’s get back on track shall we.

So today I’m feeling better than yesterday, that’s for damn sure, but still not feeling how I felt 2 weeks back, but I’ll get back to it. Right now, I’m going to enjoy my de-caf Café Mocha at the cafe of one of my favourite brands and blog.

My best friends sent me a message this morning;

“Always remember, that the people who love you the most, will hurt you the most.” – – Captain Murdock

And it got me thinking, why? Why do the people who love you the most hurt you the most… Then I figured it out… It’s not about the people who love you the most, it’s about the people that you love the most. Personally I find that the words of the people I love have more weight than the people I don’t love. Their words have more power than the words of others. What they think of me matters more than what others think of me.

Like if my dad told me that I couldn’t get a job ever, that would hurt so much more than if a normal friend told me that, and even less if it was a stranger. Because I want my dad to look at me and think, “hey, that’s someone I can be proud off.” i don’t care nearly as much of what others say compared to the words of the people I care about my family, my A-team, my inner circle and my great friends.

And I think this relates to a lot of us. We want these people to be supportive of us, to not be angry at us, to be proud of us, to respect us, to love us. They have such an extraordinary impact on our lives, on my life.

Last year there was a little misunderstanding that involved my best friend, another friend and myself. It hurt me more that my best friend shouted at me, I really didn’t care (at the moment) about the other guy. I was hurt because I had obviously pissed my best friend off and I didn’t know what I did, his words did more damage simply because he was closer to me.

I really don’t know how to explain it right, but I think you guys get what I’m trying to say, or at least I hope you are.

The people who are closest to you have the power to do the most damage to you, mentally and emotionally.

As I wrote this I can’t help but think of one Don Vito Corleone’s lines, “keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” why I’m I thinking about this line? I really don’t know….
I understand what he’s referring to, but why is my mind trying to link this line with my main blog idea?

I digress, so if there’s anything you take away from today’s piece is that, being loved by someone means that your words have more power, be more responsible with them. Use them to encourage rather than put down, use them to help grow rather than belittle, whether you are a parent, sibling or best friend, watch what you say…. I should watch what I say…. I’m an elder brother, and i guess I haven’t been the best one… Yesterday kind of pointed that out.

I’m not saying don’t be honest, I’m just saying be careful with the words you use. There are great ways of telling the truth without hurting the person involved.

So remember what Uncle Ben said;

With great power, comes great responsibility.”

Straight From The Heart

Yea… Sorry about that

I’m so sorry about my previous post.

we all have our weak moments, live is full of ups and down, and that life isn’t perfect, there is no Perfect life but we can sure as hell make the best of what we’ve got.

So yea, the last few weeks have been great and the post have reflected my progress, but hey, I’m going through a rough day and I’m going to leave the post up. To show that yes, there will be bad days, and yes there will be moments that you feel like utter shit, but you will get through it…I will get through this.

I’m not going to beat myself up for having a bad day, I’ll accept it, do what I need to or can to recover and get back on my feet soon. Today, actually not today but the last few hours have been the worst period of this Storm, but I’ll get through this. I know I will.

I did it before and had 6 great weeks and i’ll do it again and have 8 great weeks.

What is the saying,” it’s darkest before the dawn”.

Well it’s pretty dark now, but I do see the light in the distance… I will continue moving towards it, even if its one step a day, it’s progress in the right direction. If you’re in a dark place too, finds some light and head towards it, the closer you get the less dark it’ll be.

“Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I am the force. I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choise: my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.”
― Elaine Maxwell

Straight From The Heart

Bracing the Storm

Good afternoon readers,

I hope you don’t mind that I’m diverging from the usual mo of blogging in the mo, but it should only be today, but not diverging too much, I’m enjoying my Café Mocha at this new Starbucks. The Café Mocha is ok, but not as good as the one I had at the Centrepoint branch.

On to today’s piece,

Before the last few days I’d been enjoying much progress and smooth sailing. There wasn’t much of the slowness, or the brain fog, or the tiredness or the muscle aches… But I knew they would return, it was only a matter of time. It usually took 2 weeks before these symptoms came back with a bang, but this time around I enjoyed 6 weeks of bliss. 6 great weeks of progress, and smooth sailing. And I’m happy for it. Yes I’m in The Storm now, but I just have to hold on and get through it. Just need to brace myself and not let the pain and tiredness take control. Unlike the time before my spirit has been reignited and I’m willing to fight. Before I would have 2 good weeks and then get hit by The Storm and would give in to it. But not this time.

Yes I’m tired, yes I’m waking up in pain, yes my brain feels clouded and slow, but I’ll fight this time. Life is never going to be all smooth sailings, there will be times you need to brace for impact and other times when times couldn’t be any better. Enjoy it all, learn from it all, experience it all. For it is all part of life.

Yea it’s not easy, but then again all things that are worth it aren’t easy to get, are they? I’d rather die trying to get out of this storm than resign myself to living with it and let it limit me. No. Not again. Never again. I will continue to live or die trying.

So now, I will continue to wake u as early as I can, sleep at a regular time, swim the mornings I don’t feel too tired and keep writing, because this writing helps me and thank you for reading. Hopefully within this week I’ll be able to tell all of you that i made it out of this Storm and will embark on the next part of progress.

One step at a time.

I’ll Keep Moving Forward.

Straight From The Heart

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