Saturday Morning Reflections

Good Morning folks, how are you guys doing this fine morning?

It’s the end of another week, time to do some reflecting.

This week wasn’t the most productive week in recent times, was a little more tired this week but It was still a good week. I strengthened a relationship with a new friend, woke up early most days, but there is definitely room for improvement. I played more FIFA than I should have, and didn’t have early nights when I should have. So I’ll look at these few things in the coming week. All in all, I guess my body was telling me that it needed a break, as I mentioned yesterday I was expecting a slump sooner and am very happy that it came after 6 weeks and not 2 weeks as was the norm. So I guess reflecting on that, I’ve made huge progress in my fight against Fibromyalgia. Just wish that I didn’t have to skip work to rest up though, but like I mentioned in an earlier post, Strategic Re-Fuelling is essential.

5 things to be grateful for this week.
1. Great friends
2. Days Off
3. My health is getting better

Things that were good during the week
1. Had great conversations with a new friend
2. Had great conversations with not so new friends
3. Didn’t let the slump take over and send me back into a dark state of mind

Things that weren’t as good.
1. Played more FIFA than I should have
2. Didn’t wake up at latest 7 6 days this week
3. Didn’t go to work yesterday and today
4. Felt like utter shit yesterday, today not so bad.

Hopes for the next week
1. Wake up at 6 everyday
2. Swim 6 mornings
3. holy hour every morning
4. Feel better
5. My supplement come in

Evaluations of goals.
I’ve got new goals for June, as for goals for may they were pretty good, just that I didn’t write my crazy ones piece which was disappointing.

Anyway, have a great day 🙂

Straight From The Heart

Down, but Not Out

Good Morning everyone, I really hope you’re having a better morning than me.

I’m not feeling too great today, actually feeling really tired and my mind feels all clouded and cluttered. Could only swim for 8 minutes this morning and getting out of bed at 7 was so hard even though I went to bed before 10 last night.

I’ve been feeling more tired this week, and today is the worst. Feels like one of my normal days during early this year. Tired, in pain, fatigued, clouded. I couldn’t make it to work today. I feel slow, feel like crap, the world has lost a little of it’s colour, but only a little. I’ll bounce back from this soon 🙂

I’ve actually been expecting the for some time, this is the sort of cycle i’ve been going through for the last 2-3 years, but usually it would be a max of 2 good weeks and then I would enter this sort of slump, but this time it took 6 weeks! Which is a great improvement. I could look at this and say, “oh no, why has this got to happen, why do I even try?”, but I won’t. This tired phase will last a couple of days, just my body’s way of asking for a break, plus some of my supplements have finished, so that could be contributing to this.

But anyway, yes I feel like crap, yes my body hurts and yes my heads feels clogged, but the last 6 weeks have been worth it. If I keep this up, maybe the next time will be an 8 week run before the slump kicks in. but whatever it is, I’ve made progress and will continue to make progress. Just need to get through this little slump and get on the next wave. I know I can, I will.

I’m sorry if the post seems a little messy, that how my mind feels right now. But this won’t last long, it won’t stop be Revival. This is just a little speed bump. Just need to get some good rest, wait for my new batch of supplements to come in and in the mean time, I’ll continue to try my best to get up by 7 and go to bed by 10. I hope I can go to work tomorrow.

Of course when you’re on the right path, there are going to be hard times, difficult times, speed bumps, but don’t let that ,stop you. I’m not. Because its not how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. Courtesy of Rocky. Don’t give in. Don’t give up.

And I’m going to Keep Moving Forward

Anyway, that’s all for today folks.
Sorry if this weeks writing has disappointed.

Straight From The Heart

Arkay6

Friendship

Good afternoon everyone. How are you guys feeling today? I took a “partial day off”. Slept at about 1am after having a great talking session with a friend, I really enjoyed it. He/she really knows how to listen and understands & relates to certain things that I’ve been through. So yea, I planned to wake up at 10:30am but my body told me to get up at 9am, so my sleep-wake cycle is back! Had a great breakfast, But it was such a nice cool morning, and I’ve been feeling jaded over the past few days that I decided to go back to sleep at 11:30am…. And took a 3 hour nap. 🙂

So now, it’s about 4:30 in the afternoon, I’m chilling at Starbucks Jaya One (where I just won a free drink! Lucky customer! Woo. Today I realised that I’ve been to Starbucks 24 times in the last month. :/) and I’m blogging, I’m accompanied by warren who’s studying and my Café Mocha (as is the standard MO).

So it’s the middle of week, half way through to the weekend, just keep doing your best work, you’re almost to the end of the week. It’s startling how fast the week passes by, many of us forget to actually live and go on autopilot. I did that for more than a year, trying to make sure that doesn’t happen again.

Anyway, I feel like I’m rambling, So to the point, today I’m going to talk about friendship.

I value my friends very much, the ones who i really care for (old and new) are the ones who have always been there for me, and vice versa. They are so close to me that the distinction between family and friend starts becoming irrelevant. Most of these guys are so close to me that they are family,coming and going from my house as the please, they aren’t regarded as guests in my house. If they want a glass of water they go take it, I’m not getting it for them 🙂

And yes, I know not all friendships last forever, but I try to make them as meaningful as possible.i enjoy having deep conversations, conversations that go beyond the superficial and I believe this is the basis of a great friendship that will last, because even if you don’t see each other for a while, when you do meet up, it’ll be as though there was never a gap. Half of my A-Team is overseas, but when they get back, we’ll just Press Play. I skyped with a few of great friends from MUWCI a couple weeks back (not in a group session, individual sessions) and even though we hadn’t talked in over a year, it felt great, I still felt close to them, It was absolutely wonderful to see their faces, even though it was over a screen, it was great to see them and catch up. Another great friend of mine is coming back soon, haven’t seen him in months. Sorry, back to the point, why am I talking about friendship, because over the past few weeks I’ve made a lot more friends, and I’ve been developing those relationship, we’re getting closer, I’m getting to know them better and it’s no longer just a simple superficial relationship, there’s depth to it. Last night I spend four hours with someone who I didn’t even know a couple month back, but now I know we’re tight, it was an amazing conversation yesterday. We’ll see how things go with regards to permanent membership of my inner circle.

I value the members of my inner circle very much, these are the people that I hope to have in my life for a very long time. I want my kids to refer to them as aunty/uncle and their kids to do the same with me. I want our kids to think of each other as siblings, I want us to be a non-blood related family. May sound weird to many of you, but that’s what I want, and no, I’m not saying that I’m excluding my blood relatives from this, I’m just focusing on friends in this post.

And yes I know that there will be friends that will drift away, I’ll deal with that, but the ones that really matter will always be in my life or at least I hope so 🙂

I’m sorry that I didn’t write a “proper” piece today, my minds a little scattered, still on “Day Off” mode. Haha. Anyway, have a good day, love your family and your friends, and make sure they know it. 🙂

Straight From The Heart
Arkay6

Look Through the Eyes of Understanding

Good Morning Dear readers 🙂

Thank you for joining on this Monday morning. I wish you the best of luck for the work week. Todays blog title is something I picked up from Robin Sharma.

So last week I had a great conversation with a few of my friends, put that together with what
I’ve been observing about people and the books I’ve been reading, and you know what I realised?

So few of us truly listen to the person that is talking to us. We are more interested in Advising, correcting and giving our own opinion than actually listening to what the person on the opposite side of the table is telling us. Communication between people is not only restricted to what the person is saying through his/her words but also via their body language, their intonation and eyes. So many of us ‘word hear’ and not truly listen to the depth of what’s being spoken.

Last week during the great conversation with my friends, I looked into their eyes and was taken in by the depth of emotion that I saw, the meaning and the pain, the joy and the happiness. The eyes are just so expressive as someone is talking. So the next time you are talking to someone, look them in the eyes, yes you can still hear them and know what their words mean even as you look at your phone but you won’t realise the depth and meaning that lies behind the words… That you not only hear through the words but they way the words are put together, the intonation of the words and most importantly, the body language as the person speaks and the emotions of the eyes.

They eyes are truly the mirror to the soul.

So many of us want to talk, we want to be heard, but when everyone acts like this, you know what happens? No one listens which means that no one is heard, and that means that all we’re essentially doing is adding to the noise. When someone is talking to you, listen to them, don’t think about your reply, don’t judge. I’m not saying that I’m guilt free, but I’ve making an effort, for sometime now, not consistent yes, but definitely a solid effort, and over the years I’ve been told by some friends that I’m a good listener, and you know what, it makes me feel happy, I’m proud of that, I’m happy that my friends feel comfortable talking to me. And when I need someone to vent to or talk to, they just sit and listen as I rant. Thank you guys. Thank you so much.

Now about venting, when someone is venting, please don’t interrupt, they’re not in the mood to be advised, they just want to get some stuff of their chest. By advising you are indirectly telling them to shut up, that they are wrong, and maybe what they did was wrong, but as my dad says, “time and place.” wait for them to calm down, so that they are in a less defensive stance before you ask them to think about what they just said. Let them vent, let them cool off, you just listen, really listen. Try to identify the real problem behind the venting, but wait until after they are really done before you talk to them, not advise them or critique them or correct them, talk to them. Heart to heart, and if they get defensive and reactive and fight back, don’t do the same, keep calm… Because the minute you react to the reaction, it’s game over. Don’t be like a can of coke when shaken, be like water…. No matter how shaken, it doesn’t fizz over.

Be a bottle of water, not a can of coke. – Sean Covey

Time and Place.

People are sensitive, we don’t like being judged, criticised or being told that we’re wrong, especially in a harsh manner, there is a way to help someone, and it doesn’t start with being judgemental and reactive, always stay calm. When someone reacts badly to something you have said, take a step back, (i know this doesn’t sounds easy, trust me I know, but please try as practice will help you establish this as a habit) and think about why he/she reacted that way, don’t get angry, don’t get frustrated…be calm, be patient and ask, why are they reacting in such a manner, maybe they’re tired or stressed, give them some time, they’ll appreciate it. I mean, that is what I would appreciate, and I think this applies to many other people out there. When someone gets angry, take a step back, push pause and try to get to the real problem, don’t pry, don’t pressure, just be there for the person, they’ll eventually open up. It’s my personal policy never to pressure anyone to tell me something, they’ll tell me when they are ready and until then, I’ll be there for them in whatever capacity they want, as much as I can.

‘LISTEN’
When I ask you to listen to me And you start giving me advice, You have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you begin to tell me ‘why’ I shouldn’t feel that way, You are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you feel you have to do something to solve my problems,
You have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen; Not talk, nor do – just hear me.
And I can do for myself – I’m not helpless
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me, that I can and need to do for myself,
You contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, No matter how irrational
Then I quit trying to convince you
And can get about the business of understanding
What’s behind this irrational feeling.
When that’s clear,
The answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we Understand what’s behind them.
Perhaps that’s why prayer works sometimes for some people;
because God is mute, and doesn’t give
advice to try to ‘fix’ things,
He/She just listens, and lets you work it out for yourself.
So please listen, and just hear me, and if you want to talk,
Wait a minute for your turn,
And I’ll listen to you.
Anon

So remember guys, listen, really listen to the people in you life. It won’t be easy, but it’ll get easier each day and eventfully we’ll achieve amazing communication. There’s more to listening than just hearing. A lot of problems could be solved and avoided, especially those between men and women in relationships 🙂

Seek First to understand, then to be understood. – Stephen Covey

Have a great day guys,

I hope that I didn’t step on anyone’s toes with this piece, if I did, I’m really sorry.

Straight From The Heart,

Arkay6

Keep Moving Foward

Hurt

Good Morning everyone and a happy Sunday to you! Please enjoy this day, spend time with the family, have some fun and chillax. Unless you’re like me and work Sundays 🙂

A couple days back, I was talking to a friend about hurt. And that got me thinking.

So yea, in life we’re going to get hurt. It’s part and parcel of growing up and living life, and yes it sucks.

No one looks forward to getting hurt, I know. I’ve been physically broken, mentally broken and spiritually broken ever since mid 2009 and along the way, got my heart broken a couple of times… or more. If you’re a regular reader you’ll know that the last few years have been tough and that the last 5/6 weeks have been a Second Coming. Recovering from hurt isn’t easy, not at all, it takes a lot of work, determination and self-belief, and also having people that have your back doesn’t hurt. During the time before my Second Coming, as mentioned above, I was hurt in many ways. I was confused, i was clouded, i thought I had wasted all my potential, I was using them as excuses as to why I couldn’t do things or why I failed or why I shouldn’t try something. I was scared. Fear invaded and took control. I was so damn scared because no one wants to get hurt again.I didn’t know what the definition of happiness was to me.

My health wasn’t great, I stopped believing in myself and my heart had been scarred many times along the way, it was scary to see a doctor because I was afraid they would tell me that something else was wrong, I was scared to believe in myself because I was afraid I would fail again and I was afraid get back into the Game because I had been hurt so many times and didn’t want to experience the sight of the girl I liked walking away with someone else. So you know what, I stopped really trying… Sure I tried a couple of times last year to get out of this funk but every time things got sour I relapsed back behind the shield I built.

I did that for a while a long time, until 6 weeks ago when I went back to India and it seemed like India had decided to give me back the part of me it took back in 2009/2010. It was then that I woke up and saw the life I was living, or the life I wasn’t living. I wasn’t really living life. I was in a coma, sleep-walking thought life, letting it act on me instead of me acting on life…. I stopped putting living in my days…. I was basically as good as dead. I didn’t want to venture, I didn’t want to experience, i didnt want to make mistakes, I didn’t want to love, I didn’t want to learn, I didn’t want to believe in me, all because I was afraid. Why was I afraid, because I got hurting instead of being strong and facing it, I decided to hide.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still scared, but now I’m willing to try, willing to live, willing to learn and willing to love because I know that no matter what happens, I’ll eventfully get through it. The most important lesson I learnt over the past few years is that the only thing between me and getting what I want… is me. The last 6 weeks have been great, I’ve discovered my niche, I’ve learned, I’ve made more relationships, I’ve strengthen old relationships, I’m happy again, and no, it hasn’t been perfect but it feels damn good to be alive. A rekindled spirit.

And yea, I’ll get back into the Game, and yes i’m scared. The memories and emotions of my previous ventures are still very much with me, but I guess i’ll try and learn from them instead of letting them stop me… And you know what, maybe the new-old me will find success in the Game this year, who knows, I certainly don’t… But you know what I do know…. That I will definitely be trying. Because the more I face my fear, the more power I will gain from it.

So please, take it from me, I know I haven’t lived and learned all that much, but please keep moving forward and take small steps daily, because over time these small steps will lead to results. you got to move on in order to live.

“The fears we resist will persist, what we befriend we will transcend.” Robin Sharma

So guys, have a great Sunday, take some time to think about life, what needs to be addressed and how can heal the hurt and move one. It won’t be instant, it won’t be easy but it’ll be worth it.

Straight from the Heart,

Arkay6

Keep Moving Forward

Saturday “Should Have Been Morning” Reflections

Good afternoon dear readers, how’s your Saturday been so far? I slept at 6am and woke up at 11:30 am to the sight of Nazrin staring at me from the room door.
Last night was good, had great a conversation with two of my good friends, a conversation that was deep and meaningful, full of emotion and vulnerability. It was good. I listened, really listened as I looked them in the eyes to truly appreciate the depth of their words, and they reciprocated and listened to me as I poured my heart out. It was really good, a conversion spanning over 3 hours and 3 different locations. Thank you , the both of you. You know who you are.

Anyway, so that’s why I woke up late which is why today’s reflections are a “little” later. Sorry guys.

So it’s Saturday, and you know what that means, Saturday Morning Reflections. So let me take a look at my week, would you like to join me and do this for your own week?

5 things to be grateful for this week.
1. Another week of progress 🙂
2. My doctors who are so supportive
3. A family that always has my back; that make sure I know how proud of me they are.
4. That I’m not alone, going thought struggles in life, that we all have problems.
5. Growing relationships with many people this week, from close friends to new friends, to random strangers.

Other Things that were good during the week
1. Finished my re-read of The Greatness Guide
2. Finally got my iPad casing.
3. Decided that I definitely want the Bose Quiet Comfort 15

Things that weren’t as good.
1. Didn’t achieve one of my main daily achievements this week
2. Didn’t have lunch with mum
3. Didn’t take Bro for our outing

Hopes/Goals for the next week
1. Achieve wake up time of 5:30am
2. Meet more people
3. Further strengthen the new relationships in my life
4. Swim 6 mornings
5. Finish my current book
6. Holy Hour 6 mornings

All in all, I’m very happy with this week, my progress has been contains, though a little slower than the week before, I felt a little more tired this week, hence the day off. But the momentum is building up and my sleep-wake cycle has is on the right track, woke up at 7 on Thursday every though I slept at 12:30. The best part, I woke up naturally, without my alarm.

Anyway have a great Saturday guys and remember, Keep Moving Forward.

Straight From The Heart,
Arkay6

Decisions, decisions.

Good Morning dear readers! 🙂 how are you guys doing today? The last day of the work week for most. I’m feeling a lot better after my Day Off, and today I’ve got work! So I’m chilling at Starbucks now with my good friend Café Mocha, and today we’re going to address the dilemma that is making a decision. This pot is dedicated to one of my friends, he/she spurred this idea in my head a couple days back.

Decisions, decisions… There are so many choices in life now, which means there are so many more decisions to make. Some are vital, others not so. But every decision you make in your life should be yours. Not what someone else has told you to do.

As Bon Jovi said, “it’s my life.”

Asking others to make a decision for you is to excuse yourself from taking accountability and responsibility for the decision. You are putting your life in someone else’s hands. Does that sound right to you?

Act on life, don’t let life act on you.

But so many don’t want to make decision because they actually don’t know what they want from life. They haven’t really thought about it. And this is where I come to a very important point, Make the time to think. It will help you get clear on what you want and as Robin Sharma says, “Clarity Breeds Success.” Go and set up A Room of One’s Own

By getting clear on what you want out of life, you’ll heighten awareness around what’s most important. With better awareness comes better choices. And with better choices you’ll see better results. Robin Sharma

Take out your journal and write, just pour out your thoughts. Dump your worries so that you can unclutter your mind, make some room to think and make decisions. Enact Ghost Protocol, take some time on Saturday morning to do some reflecting on your life (Saturday Morning Reflections) (Saturday should have been morning reflections), face the fears you’ve been running from (Facing Fears = Power), and whatever happens, Keep Moving Forward and remember that Small Daily Improvements will Lead to a stunning Results

And don’t say you don’t have time to think, cut out some tv time, because too many of us watch too much tv.

We want someone else to make the decision so that if things go wrong, you can say, “It’s not my fault, I didn’t even want to do this, it wasn’t my idea.” but you know what, blaming others is only excusing yourself. Take responsibility for your own life, make YOUR own decisions, and whether your fail or fly, to will be because of no one but you. I’m not saying don’t ask for advise, by all means consult others, I do it all the time, but the final decision should be yours.

And if all else fails, then ask the Steve Jobs question. I know it’s not completely practical, but I can definitely help in some situations. It help Steve , meet his wife.

If today were your last day, would you do what you are about to do today? Steve Jobs

And remember,

“Success doesn’t just occur, it’s a project that is worked on each day.” Robin Sharma

You’re going to make mistakes in your life, so why not make sure their actually YOUR mistakes, so that at the end of your life you can say, ” I lived MY life, not his or hers or yours or their, I lived my life.” be responsible for your life. Take accountability for your life.

And you know what, not only will Jon Bon Jovi be proud, you’ll be proud of yourself.

Straight From The Heart,

Arkay6

Taking the Day Off

Good morning guys, this is gonna be short.

I’m going to take the day off today, in line with my post about strategic refuelling. I’ve feeling a little tired today, so I’m going to rest up. No swimming. Did a few errands. Gonna watch some tv, get a massage, do a little reading, and finish up the My re-read of The Greatness Guide, and spend Tom with the family.

Have a great day guys, and don’t forget to take a day off to rest up.

On another note, I still woke up at 7 even though I slept after 12am, and without an alarm to wake me. Good sign, making good progress with regards to my sleep-wake cycle.

Cheers guys, have a great day

Straight From The Heart,

Arkay 6

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Why is Materialism a dirty word?

Good Morning all!
Feeling really good this morning, managed to achieve a few small goals of mine this morning and that has pumped me up. Woke up at 6, had my holy hour, swam for a bit, and was in Monash by 8. Grabbed a Café Mocha from a barista who has just more back from a break, really friendly guy, made a mistake with my billing and took accountability and responsibility for it, how many of us do that nowadays? Anyway, that’s a topic for another day.

So I was thinking this morning, while using the Bose QC15, and thought, what’s wrong with materialism?

So yea, today I’m going to write about Materialism.

Now I know there are many definitions of materialism, so for the sake of clarity, this is what I’m referring to: the love and pursuit for material possessions.

Now I have absolutely nothing against materialism, he’ll I’m majorly guilty of it. I love my toys, my gadgets, my things, but not as much as I love my family and that’s the most important thing when it comes to materialism. Go ahead, get the car you love, buy that gadget you want, treasure them, but never, in any circumstance let an object come between you and your family and team.

I think this passage by Robin Sharma will best illustrate what I’m trying to say:

“Contrary to popular belief, The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari isn’t a manifesto against making money and enjoying the good life. My main message there was simply “remember what’s most important to leading a great life.” drive a BMW, wear Prada, stay at the Four Seasons and make a ton of money if these are the things that make you happy. Life is certainly full of material pleasures that really do make the journey more delightful. No need to feel guilty about enjoying them. But please don’t forget about those basic but beautiful treasures to be loved along the way. Like deep human connections, realising your best through fulfilling work, exploring the arts and experiencing the glory of nature.”

I love my Apple products, my Ray Bans, my Starbucks Café Mocha, my (not really mine yet) Giselle, my beautiful posters, my shoes, my Polo Tees, my suit and etc. And I will not feel guilty for having them.

One day I want to have a beautiful house, a Mercedes SLS AMG and a Rolls Royce Phantom. I want to either have my own firm/company, run my own media empire or be a World Class Success Coach like Robin Sharma, or all of the above. I want to go on great vacations and stay at beautiful hotels. I want to be able to send my kids to whatever schools that will give them the best education and I want my wife to have the option of not working yet being able to live the her dream life as well. I want to have nice suits, a wardrobe of Ralph Lauren Polos, a membership at KLGCC, and an Eco friendly private jet. I want to play golf with top business people and top politicians on a regular basis. I want to be able to deck my house in whatever gadgets I want, to host glamorous parties yet be able to support my community, raise the standard of living and help those who need help to get to a level where they can help themselves. And no, I do not feel guilty for having these dreams.

I want a a lot of things, but nothing will ever be more important than my family and my team, than my future wife, than my future kids. I will do my best to achieve my material dreams, but my top priorities will always be the same, be the best son I can be, the best husband and most importantly, be the best god damn dad in the whole damn world, because nothing, and I repeat nothing, is more important than being a parent. And along the way, I’ll do the best I can at work and my career to realise my material dreams.

Yes this may sound may sound naive to some of you, it may sound farfetched to others, some may think that I’m being arrogant, and others may think that I’m not being a realist. But hey, this is what I’m going to aim for, and if I do not achieve it, I’ll deal with it. One of my heroes, John F. Kennedy once said, “only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly”. And if I’ve learned anything over the past 3 years, is that the biggest obstacle between me and my dreams, is me.

I want to live the good life, which to me means having a great family first, being the person i wish to be and being able to afford and sustain having lots of toys.

“only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” JFK

But I digress, remember that it is you who owns the object and not the object that owns you and your pursuit of material objects will be balanced and healthy.
Be wise, be smart, dream big and prepare for the worst.

Have a great day,

Straight From The Heart,

Arkay 6

Would you mind? (following my blog)

Good Morning again all, I know it’s a busy Monday but if you have the time please follow my blog via email,

On the right side of the site you will see a follow option. Put in you email an click follow.

Then Go to the emails account that you entered. An email will be sent To it to confirm your subscription. Click on the email and confirm the subscription and that should be all.

I would so very appreciate it,

Thanks

Straight From The Heart

Arkay 6

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